Post image for Drama Spec Script 2010 — What is hot and what is not

After criss-crossing several sources, it is now time to review what dramas are good to spec, and which are not.
As usual, when available, a sample script is offered for each show listed — usually the pilot episode.

Let’s do again a quick recap of how this works.

The shows are divided into five categories regarding their appeal to readers and how well they are known/read:
Over-specced (shows that have passed their prime, try to avoid doing them)
Mainstream (shows that have matured enough that they have become on-the-nose speccers — and a lot of people are speccing them)
Wild Cards (soon, everyone will spec those, maybe you can get a head start)
Outsiders (specs that will get you out from the pack)
Gamblers (newcomers that could potentially become popular down the line — if they’re not canned first)

There is also a grade regarding the show’s longevity in relation to specs of said show.
Meaning, how long can you keep your spec script without having to throw it in the trash?
To do this, we use what I think is the greatest grading system on Earth; stars:
★★★★★ — Excellent
★★★★ — Very Good
★★★★★ — Average
★★★★★ — Fair
★★★★ — Poor

And here we go.


Over-Specced
Re-tool your spec if you have one, but you probably shouldn’t bother beginning a new one for those shows.

CSI/Law & Order (CBS/NBC)
Type: Police procedurals
Past their expiration date.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Nothing’s A-Changin’ for this one. It still will get “real old, real fast.”

Dexter (Sho)
Type: Serialized crime drama
As predicted last year, the Dexter time has passed, killed by its own popularity (commonly known as the hotness monster).
Longevity: ★★★★★ — If you’ve seen the end of season four, you know what I mean when I say your spec won’t survive the fifth season premiere.

Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice/House (ABC/FOX)
Type: Medical procedurals
It is harsh putting these three shows at the same level, but the truth of the matter is that they’ve all already been done to death(s), literally.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Renewed, and renewed, and renewed.

Mad Men (AMC)
Type: Serialized historical drama
This might be a surprise for some, but it’s the same reasoning as 30 Rock: everyone is doing it. Sure, you won’t go wrong with a Mad Men spec, but it certainly won’t be an original choice.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — And not only that, but who knows what’s going to happen with all the massive changes at the end of last season? You would need to stumble on major plotlines to get this spec going, which is never good.


Mainstream
The current and new widespread shows in town that are getting read.

Bones (FOX)
Type: Police procedural
Still a mainstream procedural that’s probably living its last year(s) as a tangible spec.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Doesn’t mean the show is going to die soon though (you know, strong ratings and all that).

Breaking Bad (AMC)
Type: Serialized character/family drama
Although it was last year a “Wild Card”, the series has now become pretty much mainstream, replacing Mad Men as one of the most sought-out speccable shows. As much as this is true, I would still not recommend beginning a new spec for three reasons: first, the show is way more popular than you’d think (meaning more competition), second it’s heavily serialized, and third…
Longevity: ★★★★★ — …the end of season two hinted at a different character dynamic altogether for season three. See Mad Men on why that could be problematic.

Chuck (NBC)
Type: Light spy/action procedural
On the one hand, Chuck is still an offbeat drama that has a lot of potential, so you shouldn’t throw your current spec out the window.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — On the other hand, the series recently scored its lowest rated episode ever. Beyond that however, the status quo is simply not quo anymore, so it’s hard to find the correct balance between serialized stories and “mission of the week.”

Fringe (FOX)
Type: Police/Science-fiction procedural
At this point, the show is more fantasy-fiction than science-fiction. With that said, its procedural side is undoubtedly attractive to many.
Longevity: ★★★★ — It got beaten hard in its new Thursday timeslot, and despite this, the notoriously-fickle FOX network renewed it. Yeah, it’s safe. Plus, the core dynamics of the show will probably not change much in these next episodes.

Gossip Girl/90210 (The CW)
Type: Teen dramas
When it comes to this subgenre, there’s no debate that, yet again, these are the shows to spec.
Longevity: ★★★★ — The CW is hanging tight on those two.

The Mentalist (CBS)
Type: Police procedural
Surely the hottest specced procedural right now. Maybe you can play with the Red John storyline.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — This one is pretty much safe.

True Blood (HBO)
Type: Serialized fantasy drama
At one point an “Outsider”, it has now become surprisingly common. I say surprisingly because it is a hard speccer, given both its dense mythology and the fact that it is based on a series of books.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — HBO is certainly not going to can it. Maybe you can predict the future of the show via said novels, but Alan Ball has already changed major stuff. Would your season one spec really fit into a season three narrative?


Wild Cards
Not quite fully widespread but will get there given the chance.

Burn Notice/Psych (USA)
Type: Light action and crime procedurals
Although less popular than a few months back, story ideas have not been exhausted yet…
Longevity: ★★★★ — …and USA isn’t letting them go anytime soon.

Caprica (Syfy)
Type: Serialized science-fiction drama
This category choice might also surprise some people. If you look at Caprica, unlike the early days of Battlestar Galactica (or SGU), you don’t have a standard formula, at least regarding a potential ‘procedural’ aspect. There are overarching stories that more or less get expanded throughout the various episodes, but you don’t have a stand-alone crisis each episode. If you do decide to spec this, tread lightly…
Longevity: ★★★★★ — …especially considering the regular character and mythological developments, as well as its lukewarm ratings.

Castle (ABC)
Type: Police procedural
Will most likely take over Bones’ place in the spec world.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Strong 10PM ratings means its nearly-assured renewal. Its classic ‘case of the week’ format is also a crowd-pleaser.

Glee (FOX)
Type: Light serialized high-school drama
Probably one of the most difficult specs out there, despite its overwhelming popularity. It is indeed hard to get past the serialized aspect of the series, as well as its primary use of popular songs which contradicts with the need for a spec script to be realistically producible.
Longevity: ★★★★Glee is definitely in for the long run. Try to be careful with the arrival of new cast-members and soapy twists.

Leverage (TNT)
Type: Light heist/con/action procedural
Most likely will become one of the hottest spec, the series proved this season it could go beyond the basic “con of the week” and offer actual season-long arcs (and big pay-offs). Regardless, the show’s procedural formula can still be applied to your spec. John Rogers’ blog has tons of other behind-the-scenes info about the writing.
Longevity: ★★★★ — A major drama for TNT getting renewed early. I would say wait until the season three premiere (and Gina/Sophie’s comeback) before going the hands-on approach.

NCIS:LA (CBS)
Type: Police procedural
A spec as worthy now as its older brother was in its heydays…
Longevity: ★★★★★ — …thanks in part to phenomenal ratings.

Southland (TNT)
Type: Police procedural
The little cop show that could. Saved by the bell, it is still the underdog police drama on TV and a speccer with great potential.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Don’t take it as granted though: the ratings are going down fast. You should wait for a definite yes from TNT before beginning a breakdown.


Outsiders
The shows (mostly cable) you may be tempted to take a risk on, getting you on top of the reading pile. Beyond that, it depends on the willingness of the reader and his/her knowledge of the show. Who knows, maybe the showrunner is into less popular shows and will value your risk-taking.

Eureka/Warehouse 13 (Syfy)
Type: Science-fiction procedurals
Yes, believe it or not they are getting specced; and for good reasons. Stand-alones are easy to place inside any of their seasons. Even Eureka, soon in its fourth season, still has some spec potential as a procedural. Not to mention the fact that there are not many other science-fiction shows out there.
Longevity: ★★★★ — You can count on them being on TV for some time, and major mysteries/arcs can be easily avoided in a potential story.

The Good Wife (CBS)
Type: Legal procedural
IT is hard to define this show, but one thing’s for sure: it will become a hot speccer very soon.
Longevity: ★★★★ — You shouldn’t be worried for Julianna Margulies anymore, she has found her goldmine.

Stargate: Universe (Syfy)
Type: Serialized science-fiction procedural
This might seem antinomic, but the truth is, SGU is way more serialized than its two predecessors. Still, some episodes can center around the usual “problem of the week,” and therefore give a more procedural aspect to the show, which makes it much more speccable than you’d think.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Long live the Stargate franchise. Be careful that future episodes don’t change major events in your spec.

White Collar (USA)
Type: Light crime procedural
This year’s dark horse, it could down the line become a major speccer for light procedurals.
Longevity: ★★★★ — It definitely seems it’s going to be here for a few seasons.


Gamblers
For one reason or another, these are much riskier specs to do right now. You have been warned.

Dark Blue (TNT)
Type: Police procedural
This is a gambler simply because it is virtually unknown compared to the other police procedurals. This might be a good thing usually, but I’d hold off speccing this…
Longevity: ★★★★ — …until it’s deep into its second season and more acknowledged.

Human Target (FOX)
Type: Action procedural
As virtually the only reliable (formula-wise) action-drama on television, you’d think it would be the go-to show to spec. But if you look at it more carefully, there are just too many unknown variables for now.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — If anything, the series is in strong danger of getting canceled. Try to wait for a renewal before starting on your script.

Parenthood (NBC)
Type: Serialized family drama
Are you seriously considering speccing this one? Let’s get real.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Despite a possible second season, already finding a formula you can lean on for your spec is near-impossible this early.

With over thirty shows reviewed, we can spot of few trends.

Showtime is almost totally absent from this list mainly because of their lack of dramas (they’re more into half-hours it seems). FX is also not listed thanks to their current programming renewal. The basic-cable shows from AMC, TNT, and even Syfy and USA, continue to rise on the spec market.

A lot of new shows are already getting specced right off the bat, primarily due to some early pick-ups, shorter seasons, and dying classics.
I would advise against getting too invested into a spec unless you know for sure the show has been renewed.
Besides the cancelation factor, you also have to consider if the show is heavily serialized or not.
I didn’t include series like FlashForward, V, or even Sons of Anarchy, as they are all nearly impossible to spec at this time. Your spec would be hard to put into “stasis mode” due to the ever-changing storylines.
(Semi-)Procedurals are still the norm, though a lot more serialized shows are getting some sense of success. Even what appear to be classic procedurals such as The Mentalist still have a few arcs you can play with.
The bottom line is the same as usual: chose a show that reflects your voice, your aspirations, and what you like. You really do have a wide array to choose from.

So now, let me ask you this: What are you speccing?


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Post image for Comedy Spec Script 2010 — What is hot and what is not

Like last year, it is now time to review which shows are good to spec, and which are not.
I’m assuming you know what a spec script is of course.

This time around, I’ve double things up and am dedicating a post respectively to the best comedies (half-hours) to spec, and then the best dramas (one-hours).
I’m also offering a little bonus: a script for each of the shows listed — when available.

Let’s do a quick recap of how this works.

The shows are divided into five categories regarding their appeal to readers and how well they are known/read:
Over-specced (shows that have passed their prime, try to avoid doing them)
Mainstream (shows that have matured enough that they have become on-the-nose speccers — and a lot of people are speccing them)
Wild Cards (soon, everyone will spec those, maybe you can get a head start)
Outsiders (specs that will get you out from the pack)
Gamblers (risky shows that could pay off, or bomb massively)

There is also a grade regarding the show’s longevity in relation to its speccability.
Meaning, how long can you keep your spec script fresh without having to throw it in the trash?
To do this, we will use the greatest grading system on Earth; stars:
★★★★★ — Excellent
★★★★ — Very Good
★★★★★ — Average
★★★★★ — Fair
★★★★ — Poor

Let’s get started.



Over-Specced
Re-tool your spec if you have one, but you probably shouldn’t bother beginning a new one for those shows.

30 Rock (NBC)
Beginning with the number one choice in town. You know everyone is doing it, so why bother doing the same?
Longevity: ★★★★★ — The show probably won’t die soon, but the readability of your script might. Chances are, your idea has been done before, or someone else specced it way better.

Entourage (HBO)
Do you really think you have a fresh take on a six-year-old series about Tinseltown? Yeah, thought so.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — It is hard to see the show getting renewed after its future seventh season.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)
Once a borderline show to spec, Philly is going to soon enter its sixth season, and probably thousandth spec.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Like Entourage, FX will probably give it a couple more seasons tops. The network is already trying to renew its comedy sked.

The Office (NBC)
Though it was a hot property last season (and the one before it), it has now gotten somewhat stale.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Same deal as 30 Rock basically.

Weeds (Sho)
The storyline is ever-changing and the clear-cut formula has been gone for a few seasons.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — How long can Showtime keep this show alive? A couple more years?



Mainstream
The current and new widespread shows in town that are getting read.

The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
A classic sitcom with a geeky side to it. You should like this.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Extraordinary ratings.

Parks and Recreation (NBC)
Considered by some to be the new The Office of specs, and with only two seasons under its belt, it is fresh enough to find original ideas for your script.
Longevity: ★★★★ — One of the first comedies to be renewed by NBC this year. It’s not going anywhere.



Wild Cards
Not quite fully widespread but will get there given the chance.

Community/Modern Family (NBC)
Two different series that have proven the comedy genre is not dead on network TV. Beware though: A lot more peeps than you’d think are already speccing those two.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Great ratings and enthusiastic reviews makes me think this comedic duo is safe (and renewed).

The United States of Tara (Sho)
The light dramedy of choice. Perhaps you can feature Patton Oswalt’s character a little more (that was a joke; never make an episode around a guest-star).
Longevity: ★★★★ — Showtime has found its successor to Weeds, and it’s not going to let it go.



Outsiders
The shows (mostly cable) you may be tempted to take a risk on, getting you on top of the reading pile. Beyond that, it depends on the willingness of the reader and his/her knowledge of the show. Who knows, maybe the showrunner is into less popular shows and will value your risk-taking.

Cougar Town/The Middle (NBC)
Although less popular than their two other siblings (Community/Modern Family), they do have a lot of story potential.
Longevity: ★★★★ — New and renewed. What more can you ask?

Nurse Jackie (Sho)
The lesser-watched counterpoint (and counterpart) to Tara that works both as a medical show and a short-format light dramedy.
Longevity: ★★★★ — The Edie Falco-starrer got instantly renewed when it became Showtime’s most-watched premiere in history. Enough said.

Party Down (Starz)
Talk about an underrated comedy. Its disjointed aspect makes it a good speccer that is both fresh and still formulaic, though it is still not that known/watched.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — The constant cast-change might be dangerous to your storyline (Jane Lynch and now Adam Scott departing). A third season however is almost guaranteed.



Gamblers
For one reason or another, these are much riskier specs to do right now. You have been warned.

Archer/The League (FX)
The upside is that no one else has thought of speccing those two shows. The downside is no one watches those two shows. Both are renewed however.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — Will they continue the renewal trend or disappear into nothingness during their second season? With their finite number of episodes, fresh story ideas are easy to find. What is not easy to find however is their adequate format.

Bored to Death (HBO)
Arguably one of the best new comedies this season, it is also pretty much unknown. Though it does suit well to its “case of the week” formula.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Safe for now thanks to its amazing cast.

Eastbound & Down (HBO)
Despite being execced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, and having a somewhat-cult following already, the question you should be asking yourself is: Do you actually know what the show is about?
Longevity: ★★★★ — With the strong talent attached to it, it’s doubtful the show will get canned anytime soon.

Hung (HBO)
The show received tepid reviews during its first run but it does have potential.
Longevity: ★★★★★ — The somewhat-serialized aspect might be problematic, though it was easily renewed.

The Life and Times of Tim (HBO)
Almost as unknown as Archer and The League, it is still holds a fruitful list of stories. I wouldn’t recommend speccing animation however.
Longevity: ★★★★ — Tough to guess the future of an HBO show, let alone a comedy, but this one seems solid enough.

Most of the current comedies/half-hours have been listed here, although I didn’t name any FOX show given that they’re mostly over-specced animations.
NBC still dominates the comedic field with seven shows, and CBS the classic sitcom. HBO, known more for its dramas, is surprisingly strong this year regarding half-hours. Although, much like FX’s own comedies, they are relatively under-the-radar, and it will be tough finding a reader that follows them regularly. Showtime fares better than its direct opposition with two highly-speccable series that could go a long way (like Weeds in its time).

Overall, there’s a lot of variety this year, so try not to put all your eggs in the same spec.

Click here for the dramas.


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There are lots of good posting being written in the blogging world (and Internet) at the moment.
Here are seven that caught my eye over the last few days.

  • - Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan opens up to Tim Goodman about his show in an hour-long podcast, with talk about, but not limited to, writing, characters, and surprisingly an actual discussion about the series’ atypical use of sound, color and aspect-ratio. Really refreshing considering people rarely take into account a TV show’s visuals .
  • - Nancy Franklin from The New Yorker writes an interesting piece about HBO’s The Pacific, and how there’s no “big picture” unlike Band of Brothers.
  • - Ken Levine posted a great video of the late Jackie Gleason apologizing live to his audience for having hosted the week prior an awful game-show. This will most likely never be done again on television.
  • - Margaux Froley writes on her fresh new blog about the importance of “listening” to your characters. What goes on in their lives between the lines?
  • - LAT’s Denise Martin has an interview up with Parks and Recreation’s co-creator Mike Schur about the departure of Paul Schneider from the show.
  • - There’s also another interview, this time by The Wrap’s Iain Blair, with writer Elmore Leonard. It is brief, but he shares dirty deets, both about FX’s upcoming Justified and the exclusive fact that AMC is working on a Mr. Paradise adaptation.
  • - And last but not least, The Guardian has asked a few authors about their 10 Rules of Writing. They’ve published in two parts the results. A must-read.

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Post image for The CW 2010: It’s for dudes too

For my first blog back on A TV Calling 2.0, I will try to continue the trend talking about what teenagers like, to Alex’s great dismay.

And what they (seem to) like is The CW. Born from the merger of The WB and UPN, The CW is equally the property of Time Warner and CBS Entertainment. All of their pilots in development are produced by both their production arms, Warner Bros. TV and CBS Paramount TV. Problem is, since fall of 2006, the netlet barely produced an original hit, focusing on the sure bets of both the WB and UPN. So, it carried the last seasons of “Gilmore Girls”, “Everybody Hates Chris”, “7th Heaven”.

The only sure-fire hit born under the CW banner is “Gossip Girl”. And one can argue that this show is mainly watched by female teenagers. And yes, this season has brought us “The Vampire Diaries”, who is also targeting the same female viewership, and whose showrunners’ mission is to try and not resemble “Twilight” too much. If you think I’m joking, go read this Paley Festival recap.


But for this fourth season on air, both those hits can be attributed to luck, and hide a network who has trouble expanding the soap-opera fare, and more crucially, beyond female viewers. It brought back “90210” last year and “Melrose Place” this year, but the scandal-ridden storylines barely mesmerized viewers. One is struggling in its second season, and suffered a showrunner switch in the middle of the first season, and the other returned last week to catastrophic ratings. It’s not expected to make it past this season, a shame when you know the original series lasted seven seasons.

So Dawn Ostroff, The CW’s President of Entertainment, decided to take drastic measures: having male viewers back to The CW. What better than a highly-trained female assassin played by the cutie from Die Hard 4? Yep, “La Femme Nikita” is about to be resurrected with Maggie Q as the lead. And Lyndsy Fonseca (“Desperate Housewives”, the upcoming “Kick-Ass”) is to play her hunter, a 19-year old felon that makes a deal with a secret organization (what else?) to escape a lengthy prison sentence. It sounds good and all, but don’t forget that they can make it lighter, a la “Alias”, than the original USA Network show. But ass-kicking females playing cat and mouse is sure to bring back boys to the yard.


Another pilot, still untitled and penned by Amy Sherman-Palladino, centers on a hunky horse trainer that becomes the patriarch of his parent’s Wyoming ranch after the parents die. And “Nomads”, produced by Ridley and Tony Scott, features globetrotters working undercover missions for the CIA. This last one sounds more FOX-like than CW-like. But it’s all about finding a hit outside their comfort zone, or this could spell the end of Dawn Ostroff’s tenure of the netlet.
Or it could be just a bluff move, where none of the shows are picked up and Ostroff’s people decide to go with companion shows to “Vampire Diaries”, like “Betwixt”, or “Grey’s Anatomy”-lite like “HMS” (Harvard Medical School).

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About the Author

Based in Southwest France, Lordy is a local reporter in all areas of France (really, look it up). As a hobby though, he has a keen and often deconstructing look on the entertainment business, even as a simple fan.






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Post image for How I got my Green Card

I received my Green Card in the mail the other day.
People don’t really believe me when I say I won it at the lottery.
Either because they don’t know the lottery is real, or because it sounds plain crazy with under a 2% chance of winning.

I’ve been asked a few times to tell the story of how I got it, and since it’s a long answer, I decided to make a post about it.
And if you’re wondering what happened to me during the blog hiatus, the answers are also here.
A few cryptic tidbits were posted during the past year and a half (linked throughout this very post), and they will all be explained here.
It’s like Lost, only with an actual payoff and answers (and no retcon).

I’ve been talking about visas for some time (ever since the blog began actually).
I made a two-parter breakdown of the visa and green card opportunities for international writers out there. I talked about how to register to the DV Lottery (opened from October to December).

If you’re not really aware of what the Diversity Visa lottery is, it’s “a United States congressionally-mandated lottery program for receiving a United States Permanent Resident Card.“
Around 50,000 of those are delivered each year out of 13 million applications.

Here’s what happened to me.

2008

On October 2, I decide to send in my application for the DV-2010 lottery.
The process is pretty straight-forward at first (online forms to fill out); although the specific photo ID they asked for was a pain to do.

To participate you do need to have a certain education level, and be a native of one of the qualifying countries.
Yes, what is taken into account is where you were born, not your nationality.
Sounds familiar?

As you might have guessed, some countries are blacklisted (China anyone?).
Russia has only been eligible since, well, last year.

What’s interesting to note is that Brits cannot enter the national lottery, so I had to play my French side.

Once the app is sent, there’s not much you can do except hibernate.
If you’re selected, you’ll get an actual notification letter from the Kentucky Consular Center (KCC), from where the lottery program is administered.

2009

Over seven months later, on May 29, I receive a large white envelope containing a bunch of papers to fill and send back as soon as possible (with yet again a bunch of new photo IDs to do).
It looks like I’ve won. Can it be true?

It’s also at this point that you get assigned your Case Number. From it, you can guess when you’ll have your embassy interview (within a month or two).
This is of course assuming you’re “really” selected.
Indeed, even though you just received the notification letter, it is actually the first of two.
Not only that, but since a lot of potential DV winners don’t answer back, about 100,000 people receive this first notification letter (twice the amount of actual Green Cards delivered).
First come first serve basis at this point, so time is key.
The people chosen to receive the letters are randomly chosen (obviously their applications must fit the guidelines), although the amount of letters per continent and country changes every year based on the previous lottery’s stats. This is made to even things out.

I chose to fill my form on the computer and then reprint it.
Only, the thing is: there is no letter-size paper here (it’s all A4). So I had to quickly find some US paper (which I did at some cost).
Once I had my brand new pictures and the forms printed out, I sent it back as quickly as I could, meaning less than a week later (June 4).
On June 11, I get the confirmation the KCC received my first notification letter.

Yet again, the waiting game continues.

I get word three months later the KCC sent my second notification letter around August 25.
I receive it on September 5.
This letter informs you of a few things, but is mainly there to prepare you for the upcoming American embassy interview.
First, you need to gather a lot of documents. And by a lot, I mean basically your whole life.
On my part, I had to find, among other things, my birth and police certificates, bank statements proving a certain level of income, and evidence of the required education.
There’s also the small matter of your health.
Yes, you need to go to a certified doctor that tests you for all kinds of things, such as AIDS (you can’t immigrate to the States if you’re sick). And it’s expensive.
The doc appointment also needs to be done only a few days prior to the embassy.
Once over, you’re given a sealed envelope that will later be opened during the interview.
Speaking of, mine was scheduled for October 8 at 1PM.

I arrive early only to wait hours sitting inside the embassy with all my papers in order (no clue how many trees I killed with all the photocopies).
The whole place is über-secured with people talking at counters behind bullet-proof 2-inch-thick glass. No cellphones or any electronic devices are allowed inside. So you’re basically waiting doing nothing.

I’m finally called, but before I can even begin the interview process, I have to pay, a lot (almost a grand!).
Indeed, although the lottery itself is free, if you’re selected and go through the embassy interview, you must pay a fee, with no actual guarantees you’ll get a green card at the end.

Once done, my whole application (and my whole life) is reviewed bit by bit in front of my eyes.
Sometimes I’m also asked some questions about my past and what I want to do in the States.
It’s like a pop quiz, only it’s not a good grade you want.
At this point, they’re looking for reasons why not to give you the green card.
When you’re done being stressed out, and they’re done stressing you out, you hand over your passport.

They said I’d receive it back in a few days with (or without) a visa stamped on it.
Sure enough, on October 16, I receive a package containing my passport… with the (for now) temporary visa.
Holy hell, I really won.

But this is still not over, since I must now go to the States to process it in the following six months.
Also in the package is a sealed envelope containing all my documents and medical results, to be opened by a specific immigrant agent upon arrival.
And that’s around when I went into a blog hiatus.
Paperwork takes time.

2010

On January 20, I embark upon a magical life-changing journey…
Well, not really. That’s more what’s coming this summer.
This was more of a 6-day recon mission, in New York.
Although short, I was able during my NYC stay to go on the Colbert Report.
So anyways, back to my arrival.
So I’m at JFK, and it’s time to get processed…like everyone else who just arrived.
After waiting what feels like (yet again) hours in the queue, I arrive at the immigration desk. The agent, turns out, doesn’t have the authority to open the sealed envelope, so he accompanies me all the away to the other side into the immigration office.
There, a Jack Bauer lookalike opens the envelope, and, once again, reviews the whole application from start to finish.
This is it.
He takes my finger prints, and then stamps the passport/visa.
It’s official: my visa has been processed!
I’m in.

Cut to:
Last week.
I open my mail.
In one of the letters is a laminated plastic card.
And I realize it’s true.
I’ve won a Green Card.


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Post image for Academy Award-winner Logorama

Academy Award-winner Logorama

by Alex on March 12, 2010

in Random

A great little gem of a film.

And it’s French.


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Post image for Taylor Lautner: Badder, Bulkier, and Sparklier

Lordy is a big fan of the “tween-sucking vampire franchise that made Summit tens of millions” as he calls it, and asked me to write a special article about his favorite part: Taylor Lautner.
That guy is kind of the Neil Patrick Harris to his How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I went there). He’s the one you didn’t think was going to break out from the pack when it first started, but now it seems oh so obvious that he’s the star emerging.

So, besides starring in “Sparkle Sparkle”, what is he doing these days anyway?

Simply put: the guy is fast becoming the real action star out of his Sparkle Pack.
Pattinson is too busy doing romcoms and Stewart is too busy making indies.
Taylor had expressed hopes to lead a few action movies once he’s done sparkling.

And honestly, if you want to see what kind of talent an actor wants to showcase, don’t go far.
Just look at their own little Saturday Night Live monologue.
Zach Galifianakis showed he was funny.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt showed he was awesome (more on that at a later date).
Taylor Lautner showed he could kick your ass.

He’s doing that thanks to his new pecs.
Indeed, the 18-year old (yes, he was born in 1992) actor (who already has his own production company) has bulked up pretty intensely these last few months.
Why so you’re asking?
In case you didn’t know, Robert Pattinson not being New Moon’s lead (surprised?), the movie had to rest solely on Jacob Black’s shoulders (Lautner’s character for you newbies).
Taylor Lautner was going to be replaced because of the massive physical change the character had to endure between the first two films.
So as to keep the role, Lautner gained almost thirty pounds of muscle.

Now that he’s all grown bulked up, he did the one thing every action man dreams to do: become a Toys “R” Us salesman (albeit with a much higher paycheck).
Remember the toy-to-movie craze from a few months ago?
Well Taylor represents one of these toy franchises.
The first job Lautner took outside of his werewolf gig was one that got him to stretch his newfound muscles.
Please, let’s avoid any sexual innuendos as the people reading us are tweens (yes I also hate that word).
I am here of course referring to the famous Hasbro Stretch Armstrong 1970s action figure.
Indeed, Universal Studios is making a 3-D movie aimed for a 2012 release with muscle-man as the lead. Not much more yet to talk about, although it is produced by Brian Grazer and the script is written by Steve Oedekerk (a writer for a bunch of Jim Carrey comedy, such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty). There are rumors floating around that Monsters vs. Aliens director Rob Letterman could potentially helm the movie.


And if you’re wondering, it was his SNL backflips that got him the job.
Really.
Brian Goldner (Hasbro’s CEO) watched in mid-December his monologue and was so impressed he called WME to cast Lautner.
So next time you say you kicked ass at your job interview, think again.

Taylor was also about to take on another toy-role as Mattel’s Max Steel but ultimately dropped out.
Apparently, Mattel didn’t push the project fast enough for our young entrepreneur.

Summit isn’t ready either to let those muscles loose.
Cancun, a spec script by Eric Champnella and Grant Thompson, was last December acquired by the company with guess-who attached to star.
Side-note, this is the first project of the aforementioned Lautner prodco he has with his dad Dan.
As the name implies, it takes place during spring break in Cancun.
The plot sounds like Taken, only with Lautner’s girlfriend, and with more martial arts involved (duh).

Last but far from being least, Taylor is going to star in the thriller Abduction.
Lautner will play Nathan, a guy that finds out he’s considered missing and then goes all Bourne on everyone.

Here is an actual extract from Shawn Christensen’s script:

Karen takes out a First Aid Kit and grabs some cotton balls and begins dabbing some of Nathan’s facial scars.

KAREN (CONT’D)
You’ve got glass stuck all over
you. Take off your shirt.

Nathan reluctantly takes off his shirt.

See, the Twilight fans won’t be that homesick.
I can already hear the lame puns about Abduction being renamed Ab–duction.

So, yeah, bottom line is: Lautner is apparently angling to become the next major action star.
Who could blame him after spending years flexing those abs only to be sparkling?
He is also now the highest-paid teenage actor (more so than Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus) thanks to $7.5 mils from John Moore’s Northern Lights.

Taylor Lautner is definitely going to sparkle for some time.

And yes, I’m aware that it’s the vampires that sparkle, not the werewolves.


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