March 2010

Post image for Taylor Lautner: Badder, Bulkier, and Sparklier

Lordy is a big fan of the “tween-sucking vampire franchise that made Summit tens of millions” as he calls it, and asked me to write a special article about his favorite part: Taylor Lautner.
That guy is kind of the Neil Patrick Harris to his How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I went there). He’s the one you didn’t think was going to break out from the pack when it first started, but now it seems oh so obvious that he’s the star emerging.

So, besides starring in “Sparkle Sparkle”, what is he doing these days anyway?

Simply put: the guy is fast becoming the real action star out of his Sparkle Pack.
Pattinson is too busy doing romcoms and Stewart is too busy making indies.
Taylor had expressed hopes to lead a few action movies once he’s done sparkling.

And honestly, if you want to see what kind of talent an actor wants to showcase, don’t go far.
Just look at their own little Saturday Night Live monologue.
Zach Galifianakis showed he was funny.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt showed he was awesome (more on that at a later date).
Taylor Lautner showed he could kick your ass.

He’s doing that thanks to his new pecs.
Indeed, the 18-year old (yes, he was born in 1992) actor (who already has his own production company) has bulked up pretty intensely these last few months.
Why so you’re asking?
In case you didn’t know, Robert Pattinson not being New Moon’s lead (surprised?), the movie had to rest solely on Jacob Black’s shoulders (Lautner’s character for you newbies).
Taylor Lautner was going to be replaced because of the massive physical change the character had to endure between the first two films.
So as to keep the role, Lautner gained almost thirty pounds of muscle.

Now that he’s all grown bulked up, he did the one thing every action man dreams to do: become a Toys “R” Us salesman (albeit with a much higher paycheck).
Remember the toy-to-movie craze from a few months ago?
Well Taylor represents one of these toy franchises.
The first job Lautner took outside of his werewolf gig was one that got him to stretch his newfound muscles.
Please, let’s avoid any sexual innuendos as the people reading us are tweens (yes I also hate that word).
I am here of course referring to the famous Hasbro Stretch Armstrong 1970s action figure.
Indeed, Universal Studios is making a 3-D movie aimed for a 2012 release with muscle-man as the lead. Not much more yet to talk about, although it is produced by Brian Grazer and the script is written by Steve Oedekerk (a writer for a bunch of Jim Carrey comedy, such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty). There are rumors floating around that Monsters vs. Aliens director Rob Letterman could potentially helm the movie.


And if you’re wondering, it was his SNL backflips that got him the job.
Really.
Brian Goldner (Hasbro’s CEO) watched in mid-December his monologue and was so impressed he called WME to cast Lautner.
So next time you say you kicked ass at your job interview, think again.

Taylor was also about to take on another toy-role as Mattel’s Max Steel but ultimately dropped out.
Apparently, Mattel didn’t push the project fast enough for our young entrepreneur.

Summit isn’t ready either to let those muscles loose.
Cancun, a spec script by Eric Champnella and Grant Thompson, was last December acquired by the company with guess-who attached to star.
Side-note, this is the first project of the aforementioned Lautner prodco he has with his dad Dan.
As the name implies, it takes place during spring break in Cancun.
The plot sounds like Taken, only with Lautner’s girlfriend, and with more martial arts involved (duh).

Last but far from being least, Taylor is going to star in the thriller Abduction.
Lautner will play Nathan, a guy that finds out he’s considered missing and then goes all Bourne on everyone.

Here is an actual extract from Shawn Christensen’s script:

Karen takes out a First Aid Kit and grabs some cotton balls and begins dabbing some of Nathan’s facial scars.

KAREN (CONT’D)
You’ve got glass stuck all over
you. Take off your shirt.

Nathan reluctantly takes off his shirt.

See, the Twilight fans won’t be that homesick.
I can already hear the lame puns about Abduction being renamed Ab–duction.

So, yeah, bottom line is: Lautner is apparently angling to become the next major action star.
Who could blame him after spending years flexing those abs only to be sparkling?
He is also now the highest-paid teenage actor (more so than Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus) thanks to $7.5 mils from John Moore’s Northern Lights.

Taylor Lautner is definitely going to sparkle for some time.

And yes, I’m aware that it’s the vampires that sparkle, not the werewolves.


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Post image for Galactica: Sabotage

Galactica: Sabotage

by Alex on March 10, 2010

in News,Random

I’m sure you know by now about the Lost à la Baywatch video.
But what about Galactica à la Sabotage?


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Post image for TV Mid-Season ‘010: The Complete Review — What is new
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Part 2 of 2

    We almost got side-tracked by the Oscars, didn’t we?
    No worries, I’ve got you covered on the new series coming your way in the next few months.

    New and shiny. Will you tune in?




    Miami Medical (premieres April 2): At first you might think we’re talking about NBC’s Trauma (hell, the show was even first named Miami Trauma), but the truth is, it’s a riveting original new medical drama unlike any other. Except all the others. Lana Parrilla stars in this soon-to-be-canned new series. Did someone say three for three? If there’s one thing to point out however, is that the show was created by residuals-millionaire Jeffrey Lieber (yes, that one).



    Parenthood (premieres March 2): Is it really Modern Family meets Brothers & Sisters? If anything, the cast is incredible. However with that said, I wasn’t overly impressed by the pilot but I’ll stay tuned to see if it does get better.
    Persons Unknown (premieres June 7): Created by Oscar-winner Christopher McQuarrie (thanks to a little film called The Usual Suspects), this new mystery drama is about a bunch of amnesiacs waking up in an unknown location. Who are they? Where are we? Add an island, flashbacks, a smoke monster and, well, you know where I’m going with this.

    The Big Unknown
    Day One (Spring): What a ride it has been. First it was an event series premiering post-Olympics, then an event mini-series, and now a backdoor-pilot/TV-movie with (still!) no premiere date. No need to pull the plug on this one, the cord has already firmly secured the neck.



    Happy Town (premieres April 28): No, I’m not going to make a Twin Peaks joke. The pilot was pretty much a bore and a waste of its great cast (more Amy Acker!).

    The Big Unknown
    Copper (Spring): Grey’s Anatomy, but with cops. How original.



    Sons of Tucson (premieres March 14): It’s been promoted for almost a year, the pilot leaked ages ago, and it’s only premiering now. Don’t ask if it’s going to blend, ask if it’s going to last.
    The Good Guys (fka Code 58/The Five Eight) (premieres June 7): Bradley Whitford with a ‘stache, Matt Nix behind the typewriter, and Colin Hanks as the snarky rookie. Do I hear Starsky & Hutch meets badassery?



    The Pacific (premieres March 14): You know you’ve been waiting for it for a decade. It’s finally here.
    Treme (premieres April 11): Will it be The Wire: New Orleans, or something else? In either case, people will declare it snubbed at the 2011 Emmys.



    Justified (premieres March 16): By Graham Yost, with Timothy Olyphant and Natalie Zea. This looks like another FX winner to me. Despite all of this though, the pitch doesn’t appeal to me.



    The Phantom (premieres in June): We’ve already taken a look at this backdoor-pilot. A trailer is also out there. If you’re not really interested, let me just add that it was written by non other than Daniel Knauf (from Carnivàle fame). Now are you gonna watch?

    This mid-season certainly has an “edge” to it…


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    Well, that surely was riveting (not).
    Sure, The Hurt Locker probably wasn’t the best 2009 movie, but nowadays I’m happy if good work is even recognized.
    So, yay.

    I was pleasantly surprised by Neil Patrick Harris’ opening number.
    At least they know who to call for these sorta things.

    On the other hand, this didn’t really show much confidence in Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin’s duo (not even seen on stage until the fifth minute).
    Twice the host, half the screentime.


    The banter following their arrival felt tame at best.
    It almost seemed as if they were listing a bunch of famous celebrities in hopes that fangirls all around would “squee”. Alas that wasn’t the case.
    Clooney certainly didn’t seem to care about the ceremony.
    The jokes themselves didn’t feel much inspired.
    Case in point with James Cameron’s “micro-roast” that revolved around, you guessed it, 3-D glasses.

    Did anyone else notice that, right after Steve Martin made his joke about Christoph “Jew Hunter” Waltz having hit “the motherload”, they cut to…Ethan Coen?!
    Bad taste much?

    I was surprisingly surprised at one win: Best Foreign Language Film.
    Seemed as if Das Weisse Band was going to get it. Ended up going to El Secreto de Sus Ojos.
    Yes, I’m happy about that.

    Another shock came when Michael Giacchino was given the Oscar for Best Original Music.
    No, I wasn’t shocked because he had won, rather because he hadn’t won before that.
    Indeed, this was his first Academy Award ever.
    What a shame it didn’t happen sooner. Though great speech.
    Incidentally, I’m actually listening to one of the Lost soundtracks as I’m writing this.
    And a note to Jennifer Lopez: it’s pronounced Ja-Key-No.

    Continuing on the Lost–related talk:
    If you were thinking that J.J. Abrams, or, hell, even Terry O’Quinn/Michael Emerson, were going to win an Oscar way before the guy playing Minkowski, think again.

    If you’re wondering about that “Kanye West” moment, as people are calling it now, check this out.

    Up winning best animated film was a disappointment.
    I wish Coraline or Fantastic Mr. Fox had the award.

    What’s up with Colin Farell being Jeremy Renner’s actor-buddy on stage and talking about SWAT?!
    Weren’t TPTB able to get, I don’t know, any co-star from The Hurt Locker?
    Seriously, who thought we would hear about that SWAT movie ever again, let alone at the Academy Awards?

    Anyhow, the horror tribute was a bit weird since it included a bunch of movies I’d describe as belonging to the “fantasy” genre (Edward Scissorhands to name just one).

    Speaking of, the award for the scariest moment of the evening goes to:


    Who knew a comedian painted in blue was going to be a highlight.
    Haven’t seen that on TV since a guy named Tobias.

    Notice my total lack of thought regarding the major categories.
    That’s because I don’t have any.
    I’m obviously happy for Bigelow (they took their sweet time to make the historic kudos).
    Big “duh” for all the other wins.
    And that’s about it.

    To finish us off, here’s the genius Modern Family promo they made especially for the Oscars:


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    Post image for TV Mid-Season ‘010: The Complete Review — What is coming back
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    Part 1 of 2

      Now that the Olympics are over, everyone is proud (or ashamed?) to bring back new episodes for their own shows.
      And like last year, it is now time to get this Complete Mid-Season Review started (albeit a bit late).
      As always, we kick things off with what is coming back (from March and on).

      Back with medals.




      Trauma — Season 1.5 (premieres March 8): Let’s be honest, its first half wasn’t that good.
      Friday Night Lights — Season 4 (premieres April 30): A bit late for NBC to show it. This new season however is great.



      FlashForward — Season 1.5 (premieres March 18): The first half was an overwhelming disappointment. I’m not even sure it will live to see another season.
      V — Season 1.5 (premieres March 30): On the other hand, this show was pretty decent. But please, I want more Alan Tudyk.



      Glee — Season 1.5 (premieres April 13): Possibly the best new show this season. Rock on.

      Yet again, I shan’t comment since I neither watch nor care about The CW shows.

      Gossip Girl — Season 3.5 (premieres March 8)
      90210 — Season 2.5 (premieres March 9)
      Melrose Place — Season 1.5 (premieres March 9)




      Southland — Season 2 (premieres March 2): Saved by the bell, it returns from the dead. Will it find an audience on TNT and show NBC that this was the drama to be counted on?
      Saving Grace — Season 4 (premieres March 29): The final nine episodes.



      Nurse Jackie — Season 2 (premieres March 22): Haven’t gotten around to seeing the show.
      United States of Tara — Season 2 (premieres March 22): The high-point was definitely the presence of Patton Oswald.
      The Tudors — Season 4 (premieres April 11): It’s the final countdown.



      Stargate Universe — Season 1.5 (premieres April 2): Surprisingly, I really enjoyed the first half of he season. Let’s see if it can hold up.
      Eureka — Season 4 (premieres July 9): Last season was actually entertaining, so I’ll still be tuning in.
      Warehouse 13 — Season 2 (premieres July 13): For the same reason as Nurse Jackie, I can’t really comment on it.



      Breaking Bad — Season 3 (premieres March 21): If Glee is the best new show, then Breaking Bad is simply the best show on television.

      Next up are the brand new shows coming our way.


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