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Post image for How I got my Green Card

I received my Green Card in the mail the other day.
People don’t really believe me when I say I won it at the lottery.
Either because they don’t know the lottery is real, or because it sounds plain crazy with under a 2% chance of winning.

I’ve been asked a few times to tell the story of how I got it, and since it’s a long answer, I decided to make a post about it.
And if you’re wondering what happened to me during the blog hiatus, the answers are also here.
A few cryptic tidbits were posted during the past year and a half (linked throughout this very post), and they will all be explained here.
It’s like Lost, only with an actual payoff and answers (and no retcon).

I’ve been talking about visas for some time (ever since the blog began actually).
I made a two-parter breakdown of the visa and green card opportunities for international writers out there. I talked about how to register to the DV Lottery (opened from October to December).

If you’re not really aware of what the Diversity Visa lottery is, it’s “a United States congressionally-mandated lottery program for receiving a United States Permanent Resident Card.“
Around 50,000 of those are delivered each year out of 13 million applications.

Here’s what happened to me.

2008

On October 2, I decide to send in my application for the DV-2010 lottery.
The process is pretty straight-forward at first (online forms to fill out); although the specific photo ID they asked for was a pain to do.

To participate you do need to have a certain education level, and be a native of one of the qualifying countries.
Yes, what is taken into account is where you were born, not your nationality.
Sounds familiar?

As you might have guessed, some countries are blacklisted (China anyone?).
Russia has only been eligible since, well, last year.

What’s interesting to note is that Brits cannot enter the national lottery, so I had to play my French side.

Once the app is sent, there’s not much you can do except hibernate.
If you’re selected, you’ll get an actual notification letter from the Kentucky Consular Center (KCC), from where the lottery program is administered.

2009

Over seven months later, on May 29, I receive a large white envelope containing a bunch of papers to fill and send back as soon as possible (with yet again a bunch of new photo IDs to do).
It looks like I’ve won. Can it be true?

It’s also at this point that you get assigned your Case Number. From it, you can guess when you’ll have your embassy interview (within a month or two).
This is of course assuming you’re “really” selected.
Indeed, even though you just received the notification letter, it is actually the first of two.
Not only that, but since a lot of potential DV winners don’t answer back, about 100,000 people receive this first notification letter (twice the amount of actual Green Cards delivered).
First come first serve basis at this point, so time is key.
The people chosen to receive the letters are randomly chosen (obviously their applications must fit the guidelines), although the amount of letters per continent and country changes every year based on the previous lottery’s stats. This is made to even things out.

I chose to fill my form on the computer and then reprint it.
Only, the thing is: there is no letter-size paper here (it’s all A4). So I had to quickly find some US paper (which I did at some cost).
Once I had my brand new pictures and the forms printed out, I sent it back as quickly as I could, meaning less than a week later (June 4).
On June 11, I get the confirmation the KCC received my first notification letter.

Yet again, the waiting game continues.

I get word three months later the KCC sent my second notification letter around August 25.
I receive it on September 5.
This letter informs you of a few things, but is mainly there to prepare you for the upcoming American embassy interview.
First, you need to gather a lot of documents. And by a lot, I mean basically your whole life.
On my part, I had to find, among other things, my birth and police certificates, bank statements proving a certain level of income, and evidence of the required education.
There’s also the small matter of your health.
Yes, you need to go to a certified doctor that tests you for all kinds of things, such as AIDS (you can’t immigrate to the States if you’re sick). And it’s expensive.
The doc appointment also needs to be done only a few days prior to the embassy.
Once over, you’re given a sealed envelope that will later be opened during the interview.
Speaking of, mine was scheduled for October 8 at 1PM.

I arrive early only to wait hours sitting inside the embassy with all my papers in order (no clue how many trees I killed with all the photocopies).
The whole place is über-secured with people talking at counters behind bullet-proof 2-inch-thick glass. No cellphones or any electronic devices are allowed inside. So you’re basically waiting doing nothing.

I’m finally called, but before I can even begin the interview process, I have to pay, a lot (almost a grand!).
Indeed, although the lottery itself is free, if you’re selected and go through the embassy interview, you must pay a fee, with no actual guarantees you’ll get a green card at the end.

Once done, my whole application (and my whole life) is reviewed bit by bit in front of my eyes.
Sometimes I’m also asked some questions about my past and what I want to do in the States.
It’s like a pop quiz, only it’s not a good grade you want.
At this point, they’re looking for reasons why not to give you the green card.
When you’re done being stressed out, and they’re done stressing you out, you hand over your passport.

They said I’d receive it back in a few days with (or without) a visa stamped on it.
Sure enough, on October 16, I receive a package containing my passport… with the (for now) temporary visa.
Holy hell, I really won.

But this is still not over, since I must now go to the States to process it in the following six months.
Also in the package is a sealed envelope containing all my documents and medical results, to be opened by a specific immigrant agent upon arrival.
And that’s around when I went into a blog hiatus.
Paperwork takes time.

2010

On January 20, I embark upon a magical life-changing journey…
Well, not really. That’s more what’s coming this summer.
This was more of a 6-day recon mission, in New York.
Although short, I was able during my NYC stay to go on the Colbert Report.
So anyways, back to my arrival.
So I’m at JFK, and it’s time to get processed…like everyone else who just arrived.
After waiting what feels like (yet again) hours in the queue, I arrive at the immigration desk. The agent, turns out, doesn’t have the authority to open the sealed envelope, so he accompanies me all the away to the other side into the immigration office.
There, a Jack Bauer lookalike opens the envelope, and, once again, reviews the whole application from start to finish.
This is it.
He takes my finger prints, and then stamps the passport/visa.
It’s official: my visa has been processed!
I’m in.

Cut to:
Last week.
I open my mail.
In one of the letters is a laminated plastic card.
And I realize it’s true.
I’ve won a Green Card.


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Post image for Academy Award-winner Logorama

Academy Award-winner Logorama

by Alex on March 12, 2010

in News,Random

A great little gem of a film.

And it’s French.


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Post image for The MGM ever-delayed debacle: In the jungle, no one can hear you roar

So, I was busy writing a blog on another subject which may or may not see the light of day later, and I come across this story, written by Deadline’s Nikki Finke, about how MGM is on the verge of bankruptcy, and has a $4 billion debt to erase. Actually the past 20 years were a bumpy ride for the firm of Leo the Lion (and his family, The Lionhearts. Yes, I did my homework again, but my curiosity knows no bounds.)

So, I’ll do the Cliff’s Notes version, but the firm with the Lion has been passing from owner to owner. First, there was the very Français Pathé Frères, and the French bank Crédit Lyonnais. During their tenure, successful movies like Thelma and Louise were made. There was also businessman Kirk Kerkorian, who owned MGM no less than three times in the span of 20 years, and finally, from 2004 onwards, Sony and several equity partners, trust funds and banks. But during those 7 years, no really successful movies were produced to speak of.

It’s no wonder that MGM has only one remaining viable franchise, and that is the 007 one. The reason why the studio can’t exploit its catalogue is simple: all the pre-1986 classic movies and cartoons like “Tom and Jerry” and the Tex Avery shorts were sold to Ted Turner and Time Warner more than 20 years ago. Sure, MGM bought off other failing studios such as Orion Pictures. But even moderate successes produced by Orion, like the first “Addams Family”, are not their property.

In short: upcoming Blu-Ray restored and remastered editions of “The Wizard of Oz” and “Gone With the Wind”, sure to garner profit from movie lovers….won’t be saving MGM, even though it was originally produced by the studio.

So, there it is, folks: a studio with a whopping 4,000 movies in its vaults, produced in-house or by other studios, and unable to exploit them correctly.

In 2006, worldwide distribution for DVD and Blu-Ray reverted to Fox Entertainment. Did you hear about any “special editions” of forgotten movies such as “Heaven’s Gate”, the swan song of Michael Cimino? Neither did I. Oh sure, there was the “Rocky” collection, but nothing really groundbreaking.

Instead…
This is what we get, for example.


Each MGM DVD of “catalogue” has the same tasteless cover art. I know of…hum, heard of adult DVDs that have better design than this.

Sure, the Stargate franchise does well on DVD. And apparently, two movies are on the way (one for SG-1, another for Atlantis), and the premiere of “Stargate Universe” will surely reboot the franchise…once again.
But then, other long-running franchises such as “The Outer Limits” second incarnation have barely been released on DVD, in their unedited, non-syndication form. Nevertheless, they are one of the better-remembered sci-fi series of the 1990s? So…what’s the hold up? Poor sales can be fixed with the right marketing. Why not start producing more TV shows again?

In the past few years, MGM has taken bizarre decisions. It’s not a studio that big, never has been since the 1980s. Under the supervision of Harry Sloan, its biggest recent move was the hiring of Tom Cruise and Paula Wagner to oversee a “reborn” United Artists. To prove his willingness, Cruise starred in the first two movies: one was “Lions for Lambs”, written by Matthew Carnahan and directed by Robert Redford. It was sure Oscar-bait, right? Wrong.


The movie tanked, and the “New York Times” estimated that UA lost $50 million over the promotion of the movie. Bryan Singer’s “Valkyrie” fared better, but still underperformed. Now all development at UA seems to have stopped. Bringing over Mary Parent from Universal led to an “ambitious” slate of films, including Drew Goddard’s “Cabin in The Woods” slated for release in 2010. So yeah, the upcoming remake of “Fame” will do well, if not domestically, at least internationally. But bringing in trucks of cash for the studio? Nope!

MGM partnered with, among others, The Weinstein Co. to finance a lot of their recent movies, but it doesn’t even ear n a dime in DVD sales (Harvey and Bob do, through Genius Corp.). So, last month, they brought in turnaround specialist Steven Cooper to oversee a potential restructuring, that, from the look of things, may come sooner rather than later. Steven Cooper worked miracles for Krispy Kreme Doughnuts; will he tidy up the MGM kitchen as well? Compared to Lions Gate, which is a mini-major with Oscar-winning projects (Crash being the most famous), the Lion firm pales. Lions Gate has profitable filmmakers (African-American mogul Tyler Perry), and great cash cows in the Saw franchise, as well as a flourishing TV division, producing Weeds and Mad Men. Why can’t MGM do the same? When DreamWorks severed its ties with Paramount and John Lesher, the president of the studio, got shown the door, his replacement was ordered to put more projects in the pipeline and revive franchises. It shouldn’t be that hard for MGM to follow the same template.

But in order to achieve these things, it seems that time has run out. The goodwill of the shareholders, too.

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Based in Southwest France, Lordy is a local reporter in all areas of France (really, look it up). As a hobby though, he has a keen and often deconstructing look on the entertainment business, even as a simple fan. — You can follow him on @lordofnoyze






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Post image for Medium: Can’t You See?
For this blog, I will talk about a veteran show that will return on CBS on September 25th. A show that mixes crime and paranormal elements, that garnered the lead actress an Emmy win in 2005, and was produced by arguably one of the greatest showrunners of the past 20 years.

That little show, you’ll have guessed, is called “Medium”, and was saved from cancellation by CBS, whose sister studio, CBS Paramount, also produces the show.

“Medium” is one of the rare shows that is barely recognized by critics, yet makes solid ratings and performs well in the key demographics. Even in France, where network M6 airs it, there’s barely any talk about the show. Granted, on the surface, it deals with familiar territory: a medium start having visions and helps the local district attorney to solve crimes and murders. Notice I didn’t elaborate on the visions. That’s because, at first, it was only dead people trying to communicate with her, either by showing them minutes before their murder, or actual clues about the identity of the murderer. But over the episodes, the creativity of Glenn Gordon Caron-who created one of the great comicbook-inspired shows of the last decade in “Now And Again”, and of course “Moonlighting”-is to play with the visions, and have them in a bunch of different ways: in a noir-from-the-50s way, in 3-D, in cartoon….The real treat is to see where those visions lead Allison, and how she interprets them. And even if the viewer can quickly expect some kind of routine, as Allison finds out soon she’s wrong about the visions, and someone is caught at the end of the episode, the show finds a way to defy expectations.

In a recent interview, Glenn Gordon Caron said: “This may look like a crime show, but it’s really about an American marriage”. And the heart of the show is the DuBois family. Actually, as other writers would introduce cheating, betrayals and other soapish devices to give drama and scandal to the DuBois life, Caron makes a point about keeping the DuBois family very much together and maintain their cocoon of joy they call “home”. One of the reasons may be to balance the depressing and scary visions perturbing Allison. But the show is kept realistic thanks to a honest portrayal by the tag team of Patricia Arquette and Jake Weber, who does a consistently great job every episode. Weber, and Joe DuBois, don’t look like the tanned, well dressed husbands with a good haircut, but he’s believable as an understanding and levelled father without sounding corny or plain weak. Actually, “Medium” may be pleasing to Denny Crane given how effectively the Republican values are portrayed in the show. But it never hammers the point home, no matter how the crazy family crises get solved. When focusing on the couple, “Medium” has released one of their best episodes, “Twice Upon a Time”, a beautiful take on alternate realities and a great exploration of what glues Allison and Joe together.

It boggles the mind to see that, in the span of a few months, two great shows watched by people over 50 were taken off the air of their networks: one being the cancelled “Boston Legal”, and “Medium” was fortunately rescued by CBS. In a TV world obsessed by young and sexy characters, “Medium” offers a couple who are grown and mature, with no troubles in their relationships, raising three adorable children despite consuming jobs. How boring, right?

So, “Medium” succeeds on three plans: the crime mystery, who actually manages to keep one guessing without falling in procedural traps– yes, there are investigations, but they are paramount to solving the mystery of the visions themselves-; the paranormal aspects, who give creepy, eerie visions in a variety of visual styles-what other show can give the viewer the impression that he’s choking in a plastic bag this convincingly?-; and the family aspect, which gives fuel to heart-warming scenes and entertaining banter, as well as a few choice zingers from Joe DuBois. But those three aspects are misunderstood by the critics, who’d rather see a routine crime show full of independent episodes, and no discernible or lasting character arcs. Let’s hope that the sixth season with a decent promo budget, and a good lead-in (in terms of ratings, of course) in “Ghost Whisperer” will solve those problems.

PS: The title of this post was brought to you by R&B group Total feat. The Notorious B.I.G.

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Based in Southwest France, Lordy is a local reporter in all areas of France (really, look it up). As a hobby though, he has a keen and often deconstructing look on the entertainment business, even as a simple fan. — You can follow him on @lordofnoyze






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Post image for True that

True that

by Alex on August 6, 2009

in News,TV Analysis

As the Emmy shift fallout is continuing to make waves (#emmysfail was yesterday the second hashtag on the Twitter trend topic list), this little post by theonetruebix on the Whedonesque forum sums it all up nicely with various links leading to other articles talking about the important issues at hand here.
Will there be a boycott of the Emmy ceremony when the time comes?

There’s also some new details that have emerged regarding Avatar day (August 21).

Well, it’s actually more about what’s going on in France for Avatar Day but I would assume the same thing is going to go down elsewhere, including the States.
Basically, the 3-D 15-minute preview will be shown for free every 30 minutes, starting at 6PM.
More info should come out around the 19th.

In the meantime, Time Magazine has a great piece by Richard Corliss on Thirst and how it shows that “Vampires Beat Zombies”.

There’s also a couple of TV announcements with Bryan Singer producing and writing another Syfy mini following The Triangle in 2005. This 6-hour limited series will be about the 2012 myth and the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world.
USA also revealed a huge list of projects, including a lot of cop shows.
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Busy Bodies, Gourmet Detective, you name it.
There was as well a show entitled Hotel Dix written and produced by…Tom Fontana.
Yes. A Tom Fontana show on the USA Network.


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Post image for Better Off Ted: Better Living Through Comedy

Hello, Blog Nation. My name is Lordofnoyze, alias Lordy, and I have the honor to be the first guest blogger of TV Calling, so I hope to be up to the task. Either that, or I’m off answering calls in a Madagascar-based hotline company. And nobody wants that, especially not the fellow employees there.

I’m a French (former?) student about to embark in a career of journalism. But as a side hobby, ever since my teenage years, I’ve developed an unhealthy addiction for all things TV and TV shows. Soon, the voices in my…..er, I’ve been compelled to write about the good, the bad and the ugly in the now-defunct website “Ligue des Téléspectateurs Extraordinaires”, where I was getting a kick out at reviewing shows like “Boston Public”, “X-Files” or “American Dreams”. But college life, and the aforementioned closure of the site, got in the way, and after a (mostly) failed attempt at starting my own personal blog, I went on hiatus. Until today.

Also, I love pop and hip-hop music, so if you see a few “clever” musical references in some of the blogs, it’s not by pure randomness. And I love inserting them, especially when Lex is not looking. So, without further ado, here’s my first, show-and-prove blog.

For my first guest blog, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about an underrated, and below-the-radar comedy of this year. It just happens to close its season on July 28, burning off the 5 last episodes in summer. A usual move for shows that are cancelled (hello, Pushing Daisies! Dirty Sexy Money! Eli Stone!) , but not when the show is being renewed. I’m talking about “Better Off Ted”, one of the many ABC’s midseason entries (remember In The Motherhood? Yeah, me neither.)

A show that premiered somewhere in March, with little fanfare, and was paired with “Scrubs” on Wednesdays, just before “Lost”. Of course, it attracted under 5 million viewers, and 7 episodes were aired during the “normal” season. The show was as good as dead, but Steve McPherson and his army of drones considered there was “something” there and decided to save the show until Midseason 2010, where it will be paired with the new, almost-JD-less “Scrubs: TNG”, a.k.a. “Scrubs: the Yung, Hip, Med School Years”.

So what was that “something”? Did McPherson lose his mind?

Well, as all network presidents, he’s already genetically insane. But he’s right to keep the show on the air. Here’s why:

Set in the headquarters of a fictional multinational company called Veridian Dynamics, “Better Off Ted” is barely hilarious. No, it’s not the second coming of “Arrested Development”, even if it features a top-notch, pitch-perfect performance of Portia De Rossi as the cutthroat boss, Veronica. But it slowly unveils a sense of absurdity and delicate lunacy that is welcomed.

The 7 first episodes are really solid, mainly thanks to a really good pace in editing and directing (CRUCIAL in comedy), and a very promising cast. The lead, Jay Harrington, is hardly recognizable, but he’s been seen in the promising thriller “The Inside” opposite Rachel Nichols, and with Tim Minear as his boss. That doesn’t tell us much about his comedy chops. But he was really good as the unlucky reporter in “Back To You”, the FOX comedy that never really delivered on its great potential. As things stand, his character, Ted, is a handsome everyman that has to handle daily crises alongside Veronica. He also has to deal with the sexual tension with Linda (comedy journeywoman Andrea Anders), and the everlasting disputes and ramblings of Phil and Lem, the scene-stealing tandem of the show.

Of course, it already seems like the comedy version of “Fringe”, with mad science aplenty. But the show works primarily because of the interaction and cracks between his characters, and the evil and outright absurdity that is Veridian Dynamics is kept in the second plan. Unless you wanna count the hilarious commercials, that illustrate the “theme” of each episode.

Plenty of credit goes to Victor Fresco, creator of “Andy Richter Controls the Universe”, another underrated gem that recently was released in DVD in the USA. But it feels like the show has yet to really deliver and free itself of the conventions, since it already has a universe of its own. For example, the lab rats that are partners of Phil and Lem, or Ted’s daughter, were barely used during the season, but are strong nevertheless.

So, if you want to check those out, the final episodes are being aired on ABC over the next few weeks. Definitely more worthy of your time than, say, the umpteenth season of “Entourage”.

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About the Author

Based in Southwest France, Lordy is a local reporter in all areas of France (really, look it up). As a hobby though, he has a keen and often deconstructing look on the entertainment business, even as a simple fan. — You can follow him on @lordofnoyze






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Even though we’re soon arriving to this wonderful blog’s one-year anniversary, I currently have a bit less time to post exciting fresh content.
Don’t worry though, it’s coming.

In the meantime however, other peeps out there have been much more fruitful in their postings.
Case in point with what I found in the last few days:

First up, a nice article that you probably have read by now at John August’s great blog.
It’s a first-person account by a “25-year old nascent screenwriter” named Jonny Sommers of what it’s like being a showrunner’s assistant: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Continuing on the great insight of a writers’ room, we have a Life executive producer (Diana Peterson) interviewing a Life writer’s assistant (Melissa Scrivner).
Again, an informative interview that nicely sums up what it takes to be an assistant in H-Wood.

Two perfect almost-how-to guides in becoming a writer’s assistant.

Moving up the ladder, both Variety and THR have Emmy-centered articles around the site, including a couple that I found interesting:
Emmy Watch: Writer-Director is a post about how many writers have become directors and vice-versa, playing both fields (Movie/TV) at the same time.
On the other hand we have a pretty self-explanatory article with Emmys ignore writing staff contributions, about how all TV shows are really a group-effort (especially comedies) yet the Emmys with their individual noms “leave no room for collaboration”.

Nikki Finke has one of those rare interesting post telling about how The Hangover came to be.

And finally, we have a more humorous link with SideReel’s Honest Network Taglines.
Sneek peak:

If I were to speak on the networks’ behalf, I would say “Touché”.


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