facebook_pixel Press "Enter" to skip to content

Looking to start your TV writing journey?

Posts tagged as “Featured Post”

Hollywood’s Trivial Pursuit of Games

Hollywood’s Trivial Pursuit of Games

Monopoly, Clue, Candy Land, Battleship, Ouija Board, He-Man, Hot Wheels, Asteroids, Major Matt Manson, View-Master, and now Max Steel.

What all of these games have in common is one thing: they are all being adapted into movies.
It seems as if every second now a new game adaptation is being announced.
There’s even going to be a Where’s Waldo movie.

I feel almost insulted by all these utterly pointless and ridiculous adaptations!
Are studio execs really that desperate?
Toys are meant for the playground and board games are meant to be put in a storage closet you never go to.
They are not meant for a movie theatre.

Let’s take a look at those recent horrible, horrible acquisitions.
Bare in mind: all of them will be live-action.

Starting with a weird one (aren’t they all?): the Ouija board movie!

Produced by Michael Bay’s Plantinum Dune, the film will be penned by Elf‘s David Berenbaum. It shouldn’t take the route of Jumanji, meaning it won’t be about a game coming to life. Instead, the board should play an intricate part of the movie.
This sounds a lot like that 1986 movie named Witchboard.

It looks like a joke, but it’s not. View-Master will also be a movie.
All jokes aside, Brad Caleb Kane is currently at work on the screenplay. The film will be produced by the writer-producer duo that is Kurtzman and Orci.
Kane described the movie as being similar to “the old ’80s Amblin movies: ‘Goonies,’ ‘Young Sherlock’ … in that vein.”
I’m not too sure what the point of it all is yet, but when I do, I’ll be sure to let you guys know.

Time to make room for another car movie: Hot Wheels.
I can already imagine the fast vehicles going at 200MPH in outlandish settings.
What is even more saddening (or hilarious?) is that Joel Silver is behind the movie adaptation. If you don’t get it, let me give you a clue: Silver was also the man behind the visual mess known as Speed Racer.
See any similarities between the two projects?

Ironically, the adaptation that seems the most intriguing and potentially the best of them all is the classic board-game that is Monopoly. We very quickly talked about it when it was announced back in November. The Monopoly movie has been in development since forever ago, even before Robin Hood.
The movie will be directed by Ridley Scott and the script written by Corpse Bride/Monster House‘s Pamela Pettler.
Brian Goldner, CEO of Hasbro, described the story as “real people kind of playing a real-life game of ‘Monopoly,’ not the board game, although they’re icons of the game”. As for Ridley Scott, he said the following: “We have identified a pretty good story and it is fundamentally a movie, not a game, probably describing in a way the characters in the film, the passion of the game, and how the game came about.”

Now onto action figures with He-Man, Major Matt Manson and Max Steel.

I think that toy-based movies will probably never really work. If we’re being honest for a second here, Transformers (barely) only really worked because of its VFX, and I doubt I’m shocking anyone by saying the new G.I. Joe movie is probably going to tank.
Kung-Fu Panda‘s John Stevenson will direct the live-action adaptation of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (produced by Joel Silver) based on a Justin Marks screenplay (the guy who wrote the 2009 Street Fighter). Max Steel was very recently announced so no director is yet known, though Joe Roth will produce the pic for Paramount. Major Matt Manson however is being written by Boomtown/Raines‘ Graham Yost and will be played by non other than Tom Hanks.

Moving on to Candy Land. The game is extremely popular amongst youngsters. Interestingly enough though, it isn’t that well-known outside of the States, so we’ll have to see how the movie fares internationally.
The film version will be written by Etan Cohen and should be directed by Enchanted‘s Kevin Lima.
There isn’t much to say about the plot except that I’m sure the film will be as thought-provoking as the game itself.
A future stoner-movie classic?

Regarding Battleship, the movie will be directed by Peter Berg.
The studio wants it to be an “epic naval action adventure”.
Yet again, I don’t see the point of forcing down the Battleship name, given the plotlessness of the game.
Let’s finally round this up with what can best be describe as…what?

A board-game adaptation? A reboot? A remake? A future Razzie Award-winner?

Penning down the correct term for this piece of cinematography is as complicated as was understanding the complex relationship that lies between the new 90210 and the new Melrose Place.

I am of course talking about the upcoming movie version of Clue. The game already had a somewhat decent 1985 version starring Tim Curry. This time around though, Gore Verbinski will be directing the film after he is finished on BioShock.
This version of the game has been described as a “global thriller and transmedia event that uses deductive reasoning as its storytelling engine.”
On the other side of things, we have video-game adaptation, which until now have all proven to be huge failures.
This post isn’t about why everyone hates Uwe Boll so I’ll abstain from going into a lengthy argument on that one. I’m also not going to list all the awful video-game adaptation, there have been so many.
Some good attempts were made in the past few years regarding video-game adaptations though, the problem being none of them came into fruition.
One of the most well-known example is Halo, which has been in development-hell since 2005.
At one point, Peter Jackson was even attached as an executive producer with Guillermo del Toro as the director.
Also, Shawn Ryan wrote a Max Payne draft in 2002.
My point is this: why would you make such shitty movies if you have something worth putting your money in?
Before being acquired by Universal, Asteroids was even in a four-studio bidding war!
Are we talking about the same game here? You know, the one where you control a triangular-shaped ship rotating left and right to fire on asteroids.

Will the tag line be “In space, no one can hear you fail“?
In any case, the Lorenzo di Bonaventura-produced film will be penned by Bedtime Stories‘ screenwriter, Matt Lopez.
Good luck with that.

Honestly, studios massively buying game properties to turn them into movies just shows how lazy they are.
Bet on new talent, find new ideas, or even adapt realistic stuff, but for fuck’s sake, don’t make a movie out of game pieces!
What I don’t understand is why studios seem forced to literally adapting pieces of plastic into movies?
Sure, the brands are well-known, but the end-product will be so different from the game it’s based on that ultimately it might just do the opposite and only be a drag.
View-Master: The Movie sounds more preposterous than a whole new original idea merely vaguely using an object similar to the View-Master.
An Asteroids movie? There is no plot whatsoever in the game! Armaggeddon and Deep Impact didn’t need the permission of Atari to be made, so what changed?

A naval movie need not be attached to the Battleship name either.

Same goes for Monopoly. Assuming this will be a futuristic investment/banking movie, branding it with the über-famous game board’s name is just adding unnecessary ludicrousness to the film.
Who is taking any of these projects seriously?

And since execs are so keen on the idea of adapting plotless games into motion pictures, tune in tomorrow for my Top 5 of the best (worst?) games that should have adaptations of their own.

Buried (Script) – Review

Buried (Script) – Review

There has been a script going around with a lot of buzz, Buried.
One word to describe it: intense.
This was probably one of the fastest read I’ve done of a script.
It is very engaging despite it’s bleak (even depressing?) aspect.

The movie will star Ryan Reynolds in the title role and will be directed by Spanish filmmaker Rodrigo Cortés. The script was written by Chris Sparling.

As for the story, it’s pretty straight-forward.
A man named Paul wakes up to find himself inside a sealed coffin.
He has been buried alive and only has with him a few precious items, including a Zippo lighter and a cellphone with two battery bars and one reception bar left.
Speaking of, the phone brand that gets a deal to be in the movie will most likely make a killing (no pun intended). Besides its obvious basic call function, the object’s other functions (video, MMS, etc.) are really detrimental to the whole plot.
There are a few other stuff in there that you get to discover with Paul, such as a knife and a candle.

To answer the first question that probably popped into your mind: Yes, the whole movie is literally 90 minutes in a coffin. It’s virtually a one-man show.

At first glance, the story might remind you of a famous 2005 CSI episode directed by Tarantino: Grave Danger.
Although in some ways pretty similar (a few of the coffin components are there, such as the use of fire ants at one point), the two stories are dissimilar in the way they’re depicting the whole “kidnapped and buried alive” plot.
Whereas the CSI episode delves more into the rescue efforts, Buried is a first-person account of a man having actually been buried alive.

Let’s check the script now.
Regarding the downsides, the reason for Paul being down there is almost stereotypical one might say. You find it out early on in the script, and even you can easily guess it by just knowing the country it takes place in, Iraq.

A few moments also made me unintentionally laugh, like some of the dialogues:

JABIR
Breathe no breathe, American? Ah?
Breathe no breathe?
PAUL
What? I don’t know what you’re
saying. Who is this?
JABIR
Infidel American can breathe no
breathe?
PAUL
No, I can’t breathe.

Sounds like a parody for a second.

There was this one Human Resources phone call around the end of the movie that is pretty far stretched as well.

A couple of physics-defying moments were present, such as the phone having reception even though it’s buried in the middle of the desert.
The flame from the candle should also burn oxygen much faster than it does in the movie.

Finally, one thing that a lot of people have noticed about the script is its use of prose-like writing, which is somewhat awkward given the fact that this is, you know, a script.
You get to learn things you’re not supposed to know, and it’s visually/auditorily impossible to guess said facts.
An early example:

He tries to remember the Safe Number he was given.
With the phone open and ready to be dialed, Paul struggles to recall the information.

How are you supposed to convey on screen that he’s remembering not just a phone number, but his “safe number”?
Did I mention that this is the first time in the whole script this mysterious number has been brought up?

Anyway, despite those few quarrels I had with the script, it is really so intense that it makes you overlook those minor mistakes.
The ambiance has kind of a Saw-esque quality to it (the first movie) given its suppressing feel throughout. You’re almost left gasping for air. The film will certainly not be for the claustrophobics out there.

The ending was very strong as well I thought.
I’m not going to spoil if he gets out or not, but there is at least one final gut-punch that you don’t see coming and is, in my mind, even more powerful than what happens at the end.

It will be extremely interesting to see the final result and how all this will turn out on screen.
Though the script doesn’t call for it, perhaps the director won’t be able to resist the urge of making intercuts with the outside world (especially during the phone calls).
If the movie is done without any intercuts nor flashbacks nor any other sceneries than what is written in the script, then bravo.

Ultimately, the script is definitely a page-turner and the movie promises to certainly be as exciting (especially with Reynolds as the lead), as long as no major changes are made and the oppressing feel is kept intact.

Leave Michael alone!

Leave Michael alone!

For a week now there has been non-stop coverage of Michael Jackson’s life.
All this media circus culminated in today’s memorial service.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Michael Jackson is probably (one of) the greatest entertainers in History.
But we’re talking about, hands down, the biggest broadcast event in History.
Bigger than Obama’s Inauguration.
Bigger than any other event in recent times.

Would you say that Michael Jackson dying is a Historical event?
Or is everyone treating it as a Historical event the event itself?

I think that a plane crash, an exodus in Somalia, massive protests and deaths in China, or even Palin resigning, are bigger news stories than this week’s 24:7 coverage of Michael Jackson’s greatest hits.

No offense to whomever might get offended, but this is ridiculous.

During this hommage, the poor man’s coffin was publicly displayed right in front of the stage like some kind of weird trophy.
I have never seen anything like this and probably will never again.

Just the entrance of the coffin under applause is enough to get chills down your back (not in a good way).

This isn’t just the biggest broadcast in History, it’s also one of the creepiest.

The final choir with the kids holding hands intersected with shots from London and people dancing to “We Are the World” mixed gaudy with crass.
Are people going to dance on his grave soon?

James Hibberd even declared (about the event itself, before it began):

Is it possible to have a pop star’s memorial service on this scale and not have it be, to a large extent, tacky? […] No matter how much it means to you, the setting turns it into camp. Who can regard an event soberly when you know there’s going to be folks selling T-shirts outside?

Honestly, is this supposed to be a concert with a coffin or a memorial service?

What was even more heart-breaking was seeing the family, especially the daughter, talking about their dead brother/father.

Though fans can grieve, this is a memorial service that in my opinion should have been held privately.
The mourning of a family towards a human being shouldn’t be shared with over a billion people worldwide!

Elizabeth Taylor earlier stated:

I’ve been asked to speak at the Staples Center. I cannot be part of the public whoopla. And I cannot guarantee that I would be coherent to say a word. I just don’t believe that Michael would want me to share my grief with millions of others.
How I feel is between us. Not a public event. I said I wouldn’t go to the Staples Center and I certainly don’t want to become a part of it. I love him too much.

The fans are grieving a celebrity.
Michael’s family is mourning a man.
This isn’t the same thing, and the media circus is only blurring the line.

I’ll end this post with a quote from the King of Pop himself:

It feels so good to be thought of as a person, not as a personality.

Let’s respect his wishes.
Please let Michael Jackson rest in peace now.