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Posts tagged as “Money”

How I got my Green Card

How I got my Green Card

I received my Green Card in the mail the other day.
People don’t really believe me when I say I won it at the lottery.
Either because they don’t know the lottery is real, or because it sounds plain crazy with under a 2% chance of winning.

I’ve been asked a few times to tell the story of how I got it, and since it’s a long answer, I decided to make a post about it.
And if you’re wondering what happened to me during the blog hiatus, the answers are also here.
A few cryptic tidbits were posted during the past year and a half (linked throughout this very post), and they will all be explained here.
It’s like Lost, only with an actual payoff and answers (and no retcon).

I’ve been talking about visas for some time (ever since the blog began actually).
I made a two-parter breakdown of the visa and green card opportunities for international writers out there. I talked about how to register to the DV Lottery (opened from October to December).

If you’re not really aware of what the Diversity Visa lottery is, it’s “a United States congressionally-mandated lottery program for receiving a United States Permanent Resident Card.”
Around 50,000 of those are delivered each year out of 13 million applications.

Here’s what happened to me.

2008

On October 2, I decide to send in my application for the DV-2010 lottery.
The process is pretty straight-forward at first (online forms to fill out); although the specific photo ID they asked for was a pain to do.

To participate you do need to have a certain education level, and be a native of one of the qualifying countries.
Yes, what is taken into account is where you were born, not your nationality.
Sounds familiar?

As you might have guessed, some countries are blacklisted (China anyone?).
Russia has only been eligible since, well, last year.

What’s interesting to note is that Brits cannot enter the national lottery, so I had to play my French side.

Once the app is sent, there’s not much you can do except hibernate.
If you’re selected, you’ll get an actual notification letter from the Kentucky Consular Center (KCC), from where the lottery program is administered.

2009

Over seven months later, on May 29, I receive a large white envelope containing a bunch of papers to fill and send back as soon as possible (with yet again a bunch of new photo IDs to do).
It looks like I’ve won. Can it be true?

It’s also at this point that you get assigned your Case Number. From it, you can guess when you’ll have your embassy interview (within a month or two).
This is of course assuming you’re “really” selected.
Indeed, even though you just received the notification letter, it is actually the first of two.
Not only that, but since a lot of potential DV winners don’t answer back, about 100,000 people receive this first notification letter (twice the amount of actual Green Cards delivered).
First come first serve basis at this point, so time is key.
The people chosen to receive the letters are randomly chosen (obviously their applications must fit the guidelines), although the amount of letters per continent and country changes every year based on the previous lottery’s stats. This is made to even things out.

I chose to fill my form on the computer and then reprint it.
Only, the thing is: there is no letter-size paper here (it’s all A4). So I had to quickly find some US paper (which I did at some cost).
Once I had my brand new pictures and the forms printed out, I sent it back as quickly as I could, meaning less than a week later (June 4).
On June 11, I get the confirmation the KCC received my first notification letter.

Yet again, the waiting game continues.

I get word three months later the KCC sent my second notification letter around August 25.
I receive it on September 5.
This letter informs you of a few things, but is mainly there to prepare you for the upcoming American embassy interview.
First, you need to gather a lot of documents. And by a lot, I mean basically your whole life.
On my part, I had to find, among other things, my birth and police certificates, bank statements proving a certain level of income, and evidence of the required education.
There’s also the small matter of your health.
Yes, you need to go to a certified doctor that tests you for all kinds of things, such as AIDS (you can’t immigrate to the States if you’re sick). And it’s expensive.
The doc appointment also needs to be done only a few days prior to the embassy.
Once over, you’re given a sealed envelope that will later be opened during the interview.
Speaking of, mine was scheduled for October 8 at 1PM.

I arrive early only to wait hours sitting inside the embassy with all my papers in order (no clue how many trees I killed with all the photocopies).
The whole place is über-secured with people talking at counters behind bullet-proof 2-inch-thick glass. No cellphones or any electronic devices are allowed inside. So you’re basically waiting doing nothing.

I’m finally called, but before I can even begin the interview process, I have to pay, a lot (almost a grand!).
Indeed, although the lottery itself is free, if you’re selected and go through the embassy interview, you must pay a fee, with no actual guarantees you’ll get a green card at the end.

Once done, my whole application (and my whole life) is reviewed bit by bit in front of my eyes.
Sometimes I’m also asked some questions about my past and what I want to do in the States.
It’s like a pop quiz, only it’s not a good grade you want.
At this point, they’re looking for reasons why not to give you the green card.
When you’re done being stressed out, and they’re done stressing you out, you hand over your passport.

They said I’d receive it back in a few days with (or without) a visa stamped on it.
Sure enough, on October 16, I receive a package containing my passport… with the (for now) temporary visa.
Holy hell, I really won.

But this is still not over, since I must now go to the States to process it in the following six months.
Also in the package is a sealed envelope containing all my documents and medical results, to be opened by a specific immigrant agent upon arrival.
And that’s around when I went into a blog hiatus.
Paperwork takes time.

2010

On January 20, I embark upon a magical life-changing journey…
Well, not really. That’s more what’s coming this summer.
This was more of a 6-day recon mission, in New York.
Although short, I was able during my NYC stay to go on the Colbert Report.
So anyways, back to my arrival.
So I’m at JFK, and it’s time to get processed…like everyone else who just arrived.
After waiting what feels like (yet again) hours in the queue, I arrive at the immigration desk. The agent, turns out, doesn’t have the authority to open the sealed envelope, so he accompanies me all the away to the other side into the immigration office.
There, a Jack Bauer lookalike opens the envelope, and, once again, reviews the whole application from start to finish.
This is it.
He takes my finger prints, and then stamps the passport/visa.
It’s official: my visa has been processed!
I’m in.

Cut to:
Last week.
I open my mail.
In one of the letters is a laminated plastic card.
And I realize it’s true.
I’ve won a Green Card.

Taylor Lautner: Badder, Bulkier, and Sparklier

Taylor Lautner: Badder, Bulkier, and Sparklier

Lordy is a big fan of the “tween-sucking vampire franchise that made Summit tens of millions” as he calls it, and asked me to write a special article about his favorite part: Taylor Lautner.
That guy is kind of the Neil Patrick Harris to his How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I went there). He’s the one you didn’t think was going to break out from the pack when it first started, but now it seems oh so obvious that he’s the star emerging.

So, besides starring in “Sparkle Sparkle“, what is he doing these days anyway?

Simply put: the guy is fast becoming the real action star out of his Sparkle Pack.
Pattinson is too busy doing romcoms and Stewart is too busy making indies.
Taylor had expressed hopes to lead a few action movies once he’s done sparkling.

And honestly, if you want to see what kind of talent an actor wants to showcase, don’t go far.
Just look at their own little Saturday Night Live monologue.
Zach Galifianakis showed he was funny.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt showed he was awesome (more on that at a later date).
Taylor Lautner showed he could kick your ass.

He’s doing that thanks to his new pecs.
Indeed, the 18-year old (yes, he was born in 1992) actor (who already has his own production company) has bulked up pretty intensely these last few months.
Why so you’re asking?
In case you didn’t know, Robert Pattinson not being New Moon‘s lead (surprised?), the movie had to rest solely on Jacob Black’s shoulders (Lautner’s character for you newbies).
Taylor Lautner was going to be replaced because of the massive physical change the character had to endure between the first two films.
So as to keep the role, Lautner gained almost thirty pounds of muscle.

Now that he’s all grown bulked up, he did the one thing every action man dreams to do: become a Toys “R” Us salesman (albeit with a much higher paycheck).
Remember the toy-to-movie craze from a few months ago?
Well Taylor represents one of these toy franchises.
The first job Lautner took outside of his werewolf gig was one that got him to stretch his newfound muscles.
Please, let’s avoid any sexual innuendos as the people reading us are tweens (yes I also hate that word).
I am here of course referring to the famous Hasbro Stretch Armstrong 1970s action figure.
Indeed, Universal Studios is making a 3-D movie aimed for a 2012 release with muscle-man as the lead. Not much more yet to talk about, although it is produced by Brian Grazer and the script is written by Steve Oedekerk (a writer for a bunch of Jim Carrey comedy, such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty). There are rumors floating around that Monsters vs. Aliens director Rob Letterman could potentially helm the movie.


And if you’re wondering, it was his SNL backflips that got him the job.
Really.
Brian Goldner (Hasbro’s CEO) watched in mid-December his monologue and was so impressed he called WME to cast Lautner.
So next time you say you kicked ass at your job interview, think again.

Taylor was also about to take on another toy-role as Mattel’s Max Steel but ultimately dropped out.
Apparently, Mattel didn’t push the project fast enough for our young entrepreneur.

Summit isn’t ready either to let those muscles loose.
Cancun, a spec script by Eric Champnella and Grant Thompson, was last December acquired by the company with guess-who attached to star.
Side-note, this is the first project of the aforementioned Lautner prodco he has with his dad Dan.
As the name implies, it takes place during spring break in Cancun.
The plot sounds like Taken, only with Lautner’s girlfriend, and with more martial arts involved (duh).

Last but far from being least, Taylor is going to star in the thriller Abduction.
Lautner will play Nathan, a guy that finds out he’s considered missing and then goes all Bourne on everyone.

Here is an actual extract from Shawn Christensen’s script:

Karen takes out a First Aid Kit and grabs some cotton balls and begins dabbing some of Nathan’s facial scars.

KAREN (CONT’D)
You’ve got glass stuck all over
you. Take off your shirt.

Nathan reluctantly takes off his shirt.

See, the Twilight fans won’t be that homesick.
I can already hear the lame puns about Abduction being renamed Ab-duction.

So, yeah, bottom line is: Lautner is apparently angling to become the next major action star.
Who could blame him after spending years flexing those abs only to be sparkling?
He is also now the highest-paid teenage actor (more so than Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus) thanks to $7.5 mils from John Moore’s Northern Lights.

Taylor Lautner is definitely going to sparkle for some time.

And yes, I’m aware that it’s the vampires that sparkle, not the werewolves.

Why the hell do you have an iPhone?

Why the hell do you have an iPhone?

Nifty, the second post in a row starting with a “why.”
I wonder…

Anyways, this was a provocative question for a provocative post as, today, I will try to challenge some misconceptions about what makes the iPhone so great.

Spoiler alert: it sucks.

The iPhone, like any other Apple product, is extremely expensive. You’re also tied down to that AT&T contract. This amounts to almost a thousand dollars a year.
Don’t you have better things to invest your money in?

It’s sleek, it looks cool, it’s gorgeous, but what does this mean exactly?
A beautifully-carved stick isn’t a knife.
A beautifully-designed iPod isn’t a phone.

And because a picture is worth a thousand words, take a look at the following chart:


3G compatibility wasn’t introduced to the iPhone until earlier last year. Prior to that, it was EDGE-based.
The (literally) 4-year old phone I owned (Samsung Z-500) before my current one (Samsung i900) already had 3G speed, and it’s from 2005, not 2009.
It also had a whole lot of functions that even the current iPhone still does not have as you can see in the chart, including video call capability thanks to a second camera situated on the front of the mobile phone.

All of this begs the question:
With such a hefty price tag and such low technological assets tied to it, why do you have an iPhone?

The first answer that pops into your mind will probably be linked to its incredible touchscreen.
Granted, it’s hands-down one of the best currently on the market. That said, its only superiority to other touchscreen phones is the multi-touch function. And not for long. The Palm Pre for instance already has multi-touch technology.
Also, think about it, are you really using actual multi-touch rather than standard touchscreen on a day-to-day basis? Double-tapping is more widely used for Web surfing or Google Maps. And I think that the primary appeal of the multi-touch technology when it was introduced, because it was so brand new, was that it’s cool to “show off.” But now that everyone has either seen, touched, or owns an iPhone, it’s getting pretty old.
There’s also the fact that the screen is far from the only thing that matters in a phone, especially on a smartphone.

And with that, let’s see what other important features you might need.
I’ll try not being too technical.

First, the hardware.
Save for the screen, it’s almost a decade old.

The iPhone camera is extremely limited with only 3 Megapixels (today’s phones can easily attain the 8MP).
Also, you couldn’t even make videos with the iPhone until a few months ago!
I mean, come on, even the most basic camera phones can do that but you’re telling me that for a few hundred dollars more I must have less?

As stated above, another 3G advancement was the ability to make video calls via a mobile phone.
Problem is, you need a camera at the front of your handheld device (let alone it having a decent quality). This little bonus has now widely spread throughout the smartphone landscape.
Not to the iPhone though.

You don’t really own the phone either, certainly not its hardware since you can’t do anything with it.
Try changing the battery.
Sorry, you can’t, the back is sealed shut.
Oops?

Now on to the software.

Regarding the iPhone’s, it’s also pretty weak.
Customizability is virtually nonexistent compared to its competitors, starting with the most used feature on there, web browsing.
Safari is far from being the best mobile browser. I suggest you compare it to one of the many others available such as Opera Mobile.
That’s right, I said “one of the many,” as elsewhere you can select which one you want to use.
You can’t pick and choose on the iPhone. And Safari can’t even handle Flash content. Sorry about that.

Hey, but good news, MMS is finally coming to the iPhone later this month!
Oh, but wait, it will only be available to 3G users.

Technically, this is only a software limitation, not a hardware problem. An EDGE phone can send an MMS given the opportunity. It just takes two lines of code to fix this (hell, there even have been several apps allowing MMS available for months).
Yet this seems to be way too complicated for Apple.
I wonder why.

It would take way too long to list all the basic functions lacking.
What’s more revolting is that the iPhone is considered by many as a “smartphone,” similar to a Blackberry. More and more businesses have actually started using the iPhone. And yet, there’s so much missing.
You can’t even do data tethering (use your phone as a modem for your laptop)!
A phone from the last decade could do it, why not one introduced only three months ago?

But you can read movies you say?
Did you check if you could read non-MP3/MP4 files, such as DivX AVIs or Lossless FLAC?
The answer is no, you cannot read those on the iPhone (or any iPod for that matter).

Regarding third-party applications, that’s a whole other story.
They were not even officially supported until the release of the second iPhone OS last year!
At the end of the day though, unless you “jailbreak” your iPhone, you’re entirely dependent on Apple’s goodwill via iTunes.
Case in point with Google Voice. Sadly, it’s not coming to the store.

With other phones, like Windows Mobile-based ones, you don’t have to “jailbreak” them since you’re not dependent on the one store to get your apps.
And, unlike with Apple, no one is looking over the developer’s shoulder to check if the app is “good enough” for the phone (read: doesn’t compromise the manufacturer’s evil master plan).
Sure, the World Wide Web is less “cool-looking” than iTunes, and it takes more time to find the perfect app, but they’re usually cheaper, do a better job, and can even be, wait for it, open-source.

The worst part in all of this is that if you look at the iPhone objectively, it doesn’t suit anyone’s needs.
If you’re a professional businessman that can afford such an expensive contract, then in that case you’re better off looking at other, more professional, phones (Blackberry-types).
You might also be a technogeek, and, if you really are one, then chances are you either don’t own an iPhone, or if you do, don’t know what you’re missing.
And in the rare case that you’re an average customer, then, again, go check out the competition.
Compare.

The iPhone is not only overhyped and expensive; it is also very limited and limiting.
Sure, it’s probably the best iPod player there is, but since it’s supposed to be a smartphone, it’s far from being enough.
I suggest you either look into an iPod Touch if you’re only interested in the iPhone’s multimedia capabilities. And if you want a true multi-task phone, go take a look over at some of Sony Ericson’s, or better yet Samsung’s, most recent mobile phones.

Unfortunately though, you’ll have to trade your cool “pinch to zoom out” feature…