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I received my Green Card in the mail the other day.
People don’t really believe me when I say I won it at the lottery.
Either because they don’t know the lottery is real, or because it sounds plain crazy with under a 2% chance of winning.

I’ve been asked a few times to tell the story of how I got it, and since it’s a long answer, I decided to make a post about it.
And if you’re wondering what happened to me during the blog hiatus, the answers are also here.
A few cryptic tidbits were posted during the past year and a half (linked throughout this very post), and they will all be explained here.
It’s like Lost, only with an actual payoff and answers (and no retcon).

I’ve been talking about visas for some time (ever since the blog began actually).
I made a two-parter breakdown of the visa and green card opportunities for international writers out there. I talked about how to register to the DV Lottery (opened from October to December).

If you’re not really aware of what the Diversity Visa lottery is, it’s “a United States congressionally-mandated lottery program for receiving a United States Permanent Resident Card.“
Around 50,000 of those are delivered each year out of 13 million applications.

Here’s what happened to me.

2008

On October 2, I decide to send in my application for the DV-2010 lottery.
The process is pretty straight-forward at first (online forms to fill out); although the specific photo ID they asked for was a pain to do.

To participate you do need to have a certain education level, and be a native of one of the qualifying countries.
Yes, what is taken into account is where you were born, not your nationality.
Sounds familiar?

As you might have guessed, some countries are blacklisted (China anyone?).
Russia has only been eligible since, well, last year.

What’s interesting to note is that Brits cannot enter the national lottery, so I had to play my French side.

Once the app is sent, there’s not much you can do except hibernate.
If you’re selected, you’ll get an actual notification letter from the Kentucky Consular Center (KCC), from where the lottery program is administered.

2009

Over seven months later, on May 29, I receive a large white envelope containing a bunch of papers to fill and send back as soon as possible (with yet again a bunch of new photo IDs to do).
It looks like I’ve won. Can it be true?

It’s also at this point that you get assigned your Case Number. From it, you can guess when you’ll have your embassy interview (within a month or two).
This is of course assuming you’re “really” selected.
Indeed, even though you just received the notification letter, it is actually the first of two.
Not only that, but since a lot of potential DV winners don’t answer back, about 100,000 people receive this first notification letter (twice the amount of actual Green Cards delivered).
First come first serve basis at this point, so time is key.
The people chosen to receive the letters are randomly chosen (obviously their applications must fit the guidelines), although the amount of letters per continent and country changes every year based on the previous lottery’s stats. This is made to even things out.

I chose to fill my form on the computer and then reprint it.
Only, the thing is: there is no letter-size paper here (it’s all A4). So I had to quickly find some US paper (which I did at some cost).
Once I had my brand new pictures and the forms printed out, I sent it back as quickly as I could, meaning less than a week later (June 4).
On June 11, I get the confirmation the KCC received my first notification letter.

Yet again, the waiting game continues.

I get word three months later the KCC sent my second notification letter around August 25.
I receive it on September 5.
This letter informs you of a few things, but is mainly there to prepare you for the upcoming American embassy interview.
First, you need to gather a lot of documents. And by a lot, I mean basically your whole life.
On my part, I had to find, among other things, my birth and police certificates, bank statements proving a certain level of income, and evidence of the required education.
There’s also the small matter of your health.
Yes, you need to go to a certified doctor that tests you for all kinds of things, such as AIDS (you can’t immigrate to the States if you’re sick). And it’s expensive.
The doc appointment also needs to be done only a few days prior to the embassy.
Once over, you’re given a sealed envelope that will later be opened during the interview.
Speaking of, mine was scheduled for October 8 at 1PM.

I arrive early only to wait hours sitting inside the embassy with all my papers in order (no clue how many trees I killed with all the photocopies).
The whole place is über-secured with people talking at counters behind bullet-proof 2-inch-thick glass. No cellphones or any electronic devices are allowed inside. So you’re basically waiting doing nothing.

I’m finally called, but before I can even begin the interview process, I have to pay, a lot (almost a grand!).
Indeed, although the lottery itself is free, if you’re selected and go through the embassy interview, you must pay a fee, with no actual guarantees you’ll get a green card at the end.

Once done, my whole application (and my whole life) is reviewed bit by bit in front of my eyes.
Sometimes I’m also asked some questions about my past and what I want to do in the States.
It’s like a pop quiz, only it’s not a good grade you want.
At this point, they’re looking for reasons why not to give you the green card.
When you’re done being stressed out, and they’re done stressing you out, you hand over your passport.

They said I’d receive it back in a few days with (or without) a visa stamped on it.
Sure enough, on October 16, I receive a package containing my passport… with the (for now) temporary visa.
Holy hell, I really won.

But this is still not over, since I must now go to the States to process it in the following six months.
Also in the package is a sealed envelope containing all my documents and medical results, to be opened by a specific immigrant agent upon arrival.
And that’s around when I went into a blog hiatus.
Paperwork takes time.

2010

On January 20, I embark upon a magical life-changing journey…
Well, not really. That’s more what’s coming this summer.
This was more of a 6-day recon mission, in New York.
Although short, I was able during my NYC stay to go on the Colbert Report.
So anyways, back to my arrival.
So I’m at JFK, and it’s time to get processed…like everyone else who just arrived.
After waiting what feels like (yet again) hours in the queue, I arrive at the immigration desk. The agent, turns out, doesn’t have the authority to open the sealed envelope, so he accompanies me all the away to the other side into the immigration office.
There, a Jack Bauer lookalike opens the envelope, and, once again, reviews the whole application from start to finish.
This is it.
He takes my finger prints, and then stamps the passport/visa.
It’s official: my visa has been processed!
I’m in.

Cut to:
Last week.
I open my mail.
In one of the letters is a laminated plastic card.
And I realize it’s true.
I’ve won a Green Card.


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Post image for Academy Award-winner Logorama

Academy Award-winner Logorama

by Alex on March 12, 2010

in News,Random

A great little gem of a film.

And it’s French.


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Post image for Taylor Lautner: Badder, Bulkier, and Sparklier

Lordy is a big fan of the “tween-sucking vampire franchise that made Summit tens of millions” as he calls it, and asked me to write a special article about his favorite part: Taylor Lautner.
That guy is kind of the Neil Patrick Harris to his How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I went there). He’s the one you didn’t think was going to break out from the pack when it first started, but now it seems oh so obvious that he’s the star emerging.

So, besides starring in “Sparkle Sparkle”, what is he doing these days anyway?

Simply put: the guy is fast becoming the real action star out of his Sparkle Pack.
Pattinson is too busy doing romcoms and Stewart is too busy making indies.
Taylor had expressed hopes to lead a few action movies once he’s done sparkling.

And honestly, if you want to see what kind of talent an actor wants to showcase, don’t go far.
Just look at their own little Saturday Night Live monologue.
Zach Galifianakis showed he was funny.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt showed he was awesome (more on that at a later date).
Taylor Lautner showed he could kick your ass.

He’s doing that thanks to his new pecs.
Indeed, the 18-year old (yes, he was born in 1992) actor (who already has his own production company) has bulked up pretty intensely these last few months.
Why so you’re asking?
In case you didn’t know, Robert Pattinson not being New Moon’s lead (surprised?), the movie had to rest solely on Jacob Black’s shoulders (Lautner’s character for you newbies).
Taylor Lautner was going to be replaced because of the massive physical change the character had to endure between the first two films.
So as to keep the role, Lautner gained almost thirty pounds of muscle.

Now that he’s all grown bulked up, he did the one thing every action man dreams to do: become a Toys “R” Us salesman (albeit with a much higher paycheck).
Remember the toy-to-movie craze from a few months ago?
Well Taylor represents one of these toy franchises.
The first job Lautner took outside of his werewolf gig was one that got him to stretch his newfound muscles.
Please, let’s avoid any sexual innuendos as the people reading us are tweens (yes I also hate that word).
I am here of course referring to the famous Hasbro Stretch Armstrong 1970s action figure.
Indeed, Universal Studios is making a 3-D movie aimed for a 2012 release with muscle-man as the lead. Not much more yet to talk about, although it is produced by Brian Grazer and the script is written by Steve Oedekerk (a writer for a bunch of Jim Carrey comedy, such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty). There are rumors floating around that Monsters vs. Aliens director Rob Letterman could potentially helm the movie.


And if you’re wondering, it was his SNL backflips that got him the job.
Really.
Brian Goldner (Hasbro’s CEO) watched in mid-December his monologue and was so impressed he called WME to cast Lautner.
So next time you say you kicked ass at your job interview, think again.

Taylor was also about to take on another toy-role as Mattel’s Max Steel but ultimately dropped out.
Apparently, Mattel didn’t push the project fast enough for our young entrepreneur.

Summit isn’t ready either to let those muscles loose.
Cancun, a spec script by Eric Champnella and Grant Thompson, was last December acquired by the company with guess-who attached to star.
Side-note, this is the first project of the aforementioned Lautner prodco he has with his dad Dan.
As the name implies, it takes place during spring break in Cancun.
The plot sounds like Taken, only with Lautner’s girlfriend, and with more martial arts involved (duh).

Last but far from being least, Taylor is going to star in the thriller Abduction.
Lautner will play Nathan, a guy that finds out he’s considered missing and then goes all Bourne on everyone.

Here is an actual extract from Shawn Christensen’s script:

Karen takes out a First Aid Kit and grabs some cotton balls and begins dabbing some of Nathan’s facial scars.

KAREN (CONT’D)
You’ve got glass stuck all over
you. Take off your shirt.

Nathan reluctantly takes off his shirt.

See, the Twilight fans won’t be that homesick.
I can already hear the lame puns about Abduction being renamed Ab–duction.

So, yeah, bottom line is: Lautner is apparently angling to become the next major action star.
Who could blame him after spending years flexing those abs only to be sparkling?
He is also now the highest-paid teenage actor (more so than Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus) thanks to $7.5 mils from John Moore’s Northern Lights.

Taylor Lautner is definitely going to sparkle for some time.

And yes, I’m aware that it’s the vampires that sparkle, not the werewolves.


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Galactica: Sabotage

by Alex on March 10, 2010

in News,Random

I’m sure you know by now about the Lost à la Baywatch video.
But what about Galactica à la Sabotage?


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Post image for TV Mid-Season ‘010: The Complete Review — What is new
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Part 2 of 2

    We almost got side-tracked by the Oscars, didn’t we?
    No worries, I’ve got you covered on the new series coming your way in the next few months.

    New and shiny. Will you tune in?




    Miami Medical (premieres April 2): At first you might think we’re talking about NBC’s Trauma (hell, the show was even first named Miami Trauma), but the truth is, it’s a riveting original new medical drama unlike any other. Except all the others. Lana Parrilla stars in this soon-to-be-canned new series. Did someone say three for three? If there’s one thing to point out however, is that the show was created by residuals-millionaire Jeffrey Lieber (yes, that one).



    Parenthood (premieres March 2): Is it really Modern Family meets Brothers & Sisters? If anything, the cast is incredible. However with that said, I wasn’t overly impressed by the pilot but I’ll stay tuned to see if it does get better.
    Persons Unknown (premieres June 7): Created by Oscar-winner Christopher McQuarrie (thanks to a little film called The Usual Suspects), this new mystery drama is about a bunch of amnesiacs waking up in an unknown location. Who are they? Where are we? Add an island, flashbacks, a smoke monster and, well, you know where I’m going with this.

    The Big Unknown
    Day One (Spring): What a ride it has been. First it was an event series premiering post-Olympics, then an event mini-series, and now a backdoor-pilot/TV-movie with (still!) no premiere date. No need to pull the plug on this one, the cord has already firmly secured the neck.



    Happy Town (premieres April 28): No, I’m not going to make a Twin Peaks joke. The pilot was pretty much a bore and a waste of its great cast (more Amy Acker!).

    The Big Unknown
    Copper (Spring): Grey’s Anatomy, but with cops. How original.



    Sons of Tucson (premieres March 14): It’s been promoted for almost a year, the pilot leaked ages ago, and it’s only premiering now. Don’t ask if it’s going to blend, ask if it’s going to last.
    The Good Guys (fka Code 58/The Five Eight) (premieres June 7): Bradley Whitford with a ‘stache, Matt Nix behind the typewriter, and Colin Hanks as the snarky rookie. Do I hear Starsky & Hutch meets badassery?



    The Pacific (premieres March 14): You know you’ve been waiting for it for a decade. It’s finally here.
    Treme (premieres April 11): Will it be The Wire: New Orleans, or something else? In either case, people will declare it snubbed at the 2011 Emmys.



    Justified (premieres March 16): By Graham Yost, with Timothy Olyphant and Natalie Zea. This looks like another FX winner to me. Despite all of this though, the pitch doesn’t appeal to me.



    The Phantom (premieres in June): We’ve already taken a look at this backdoor-pilot. A trailer is also out there. If you’re not really interested, let me just add that it was written by non other than Daniel Knauf (from Carnivàle fame). Now are you gonna watch?

    This mid-season certainly has an “edge” to it…


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