Like we saw yesterday, studios are starting a new thing: board game-based movies.
I loved this great fad so much that I decided to help the poor execs by giving them a Top 5 list of games they should quickly make into movies.
The audience is just dying for ground-breaking entertainment, let’s give it to ’em!
The choice was extremely hard to make, some plastic tokens were lost in the process, but all is well now.
Let’s dive right in.
5) Connect 4
A classic game but how could one adapt this into an Oscar-winning motion picture?
Easy. Just imagine the following pic:
“A parallel world where everything is decided via a game of Connect 4. Suddenly, throughout the globe, strange events start happening as soon as people put pieces in the Connect 4 slots.
Cows explode, buildin gs are destroyed, Ahmadinejad converts to Judaism.
One man can save us all, he’s our only hope: the world-champion of Connect 4.”
4) Chinese Checkers
The clock is ticking for Denzel Washington, who must uncover the truth behind a global conspiracy that threatens international security.
A new Sino-American pact has just been signed. The pact allows trading of state secrets between the two countries.
This thrilling political thriller will shed a light on a(nother) secret society inside the U.S. Government.
Ultimately, the movie will have no relation whatsoever with the game it is based on except for the name, a clever pun.
Chinese Checkers, the new political thriller by Tony Scott, coming soon.
Okay, this one is more like a half-joke.
I’d genuinely be interested in seeing what movie could be based off this great board game about world conquest.
My thinking is it’s something close to Napoleon meets Michael Bay.
A global fight for land involving epic space lasers and giant elephants.
Why elephants? Why not.
That, or a movie on colonialism.
What if a secret code was hidden inside Scrabble boxes everywhere?
In deciphering this Scrabble code one would uncover what lies inside the obscure fraternal organisation known as ‘Freemascrabble’ currently ruling the world.
Think Da Vinci Code meets National Treasure but for nerds.
It’s pretty original.
If Jon Turteltaub directs this on a script by Akiva Goldsman starring Nicolas Cage, I want to see the movie now.
So many ways to adapt this pictureless (and pointless) game.
What about a family-oriented movie with kids solving a murder thanks to clues that must be drawn and guessed just to piss those damn kids off?
And best of all, the audience can participate too!
Just shout the answers to the clues at a responseless screen to play.
That’s right, you’re publicly encouraged to annoy even more your already-annoyed movie theatre neighbour.
Well, I think the Top 5 list is now over.
What about you? What board games would you like to see adapted on screen just for shizz and giggles?