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Inglourious Basterds – Review

It’s been a long time coming, and here it finally is: my Inglourious Basterds review.

Very (in my opinion) minor spoilers throughout (though I don’t know your level of paranoia so don’t hold me responsible if you feel spoiled).

First, some comments about the extremely poor marketing made for this film.

The official description of the movie is something akin to “a bunch of American soldiers go on a rampage by scalping a few hundred Nazis in France during the WW2 Occupation.”
Newsflash: this is not at all what the movie is about.
I haven’t seen a title this misleading since Epic Movie.

Truth is, the film doesn’t really center on the self-proclaimed “Inglourious Basterds”, nor Brad Pitt really.
Christoph Waltz, Mélanie Laurent, and perhaps even Diane Kruger, have more screen-time than Pitt.

The trailer also kinda shows you almost all the action in the movie.
I think there was like 10ish minutes of Nazi-killing tops.
That out of a 2h40 movie (the version that will come out in theathers should be around 2h).

Basically, this film is a talkie. And I mean really.
It’s more Kill Bill: Volume 2 than Kill Bill: Volume 1 if you know what I’m talking about.
Expect lots of (I thought great) dialogue throughout.
Some ran a tad long, although I believe this problem will be fixed for the official release.
If you don’t like Tarantino dialogue, this movie isn’t for you.

If you don’t like subtitles, this movie isn’t for you either.
Indeed, I would guess about 70% or more of the film is not in English, rather in German or in French.

I’m sure some of you have read the leaked script from last year, so you might already know that the film is divided into 5 chapters:
1) Once Upon a Time… in Nazi-Occupied France
2) Inglorious Basterds
3) German Night in Paris
4) Operation Kino
5) Revenge of the Giant Face

There are descriptions of each chapter on the web if you’re interested, although the names are already pretty self-explanatory (except maybe the last one or three).

Again, the Basterds are overall a minor part of the plot, and serve more as some big Deus Ex Machina than anything else.
We get to meet them in the second chapter, but their reign of terror is already established.
One might expect the movie to be about how they had achieved such a scare-inducing presence amongst the Nazis, or show them arriving in France and all that.
Turns out, not at all.

On the other hand, what is strongly present is the amount of meta jokes in the movie.
At one point in the film (won’t say when), a French and a German are talking, and the German says: “I ask your permission to switch to English for the remainder of the conversation.”
Also, you’ve probably heard of the final line of the movie.
If not, I won’t spoil it for you, but suffice to say it has a very strong meta-quality to it and one might think echoes Tarantino’s stance on the movie.

There were some rumors going on around that a whole chapter (the third one) was going to be in “French New Wave Black and White” like Tarantino describes it in his script.
Not at all the case.
At one point there is a film-within-the-film (shot by Eli Roth) and therefore in black and white.
Problem is, there’s so much big deal made out of it, it turns out it’s barely shown.
Even worse, it’s not even an homage to the French New Wave but clearly more of an Italian Neorealism-type film.
If you’re going to make references to cinematic movements, learn what they are first.

My favorite chapter is probably “Once Upon a Time… in Nazi-Occupied France” (this time an homage to Spaghetti Westerns, hence the chapter’s name).
I think it epitomizes the movie in many ways.
Great acting (especially from Christoph Waltz), great dialogue, and great shots.

But beyond that, the movie just seems like a long mess leading to a bigger mess (this one literal).

The rushed editing doesn’t help either.
Tarantino and the Weinsteins were obviously trying to finish the damn thing for the festival.
I’m also hoping he changes the opening credits, which was just some basic text using fonts from his previous films (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, etc.).
As for the music, nothing ground-breaking there either.
I thought the soundtrack was, unlike his other movies, a pretty minor part of the film here and poorly used.

Keep in mind that the version I saw was the one shown at the Cannes Festival and had a 2h40 length.
I’m pretty sure most of these problems (the editing/feel of the movie, long scenes, the music, the opening credits) will be addressed with a 40 or so minutes cut before the official release.

I had read the first chapter before seeing the movie so I kinda knew that the film wasn’t going to really be centered on the Inglourious Basterds.
Ergo, I wasn’t disappointed on that part.
Also, I love Tarantino’s dialogues.

Just don’t expect to see a 2-hour Nazi-scalping film.

I’m looking forward to the more laid-back (and final) version of Inglourious Basterds coming out mid-August.

How I Survived the 62nd Cannes Film Festival – Episode III

You’ve been anxiously waiting for this post since 4 days ago, and now here we are.

I give you:

Episode III: Revenge of the Films
The following takes place between Thursday, May 21, and Sunday, May 24 2009.

Thursday 21:
After such an exciting night, I sleep during the morning.
In the afternoon, I enjoy a delicious beverage at the American Pavilion.
I then go to the Salle du Soixantième to see Alain Resnais’ Les Herbes Folles.


I unfortunately haven’t seen much of Resnais’ work, but his latest movie was at the very least fun to watch.
Later that evening, I witness a drunkard swimming in a fountain.

Friday 22:
Yet again, I wake up very early to go see Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. I’m even lucky enough to be seated near the middle of the Grand Palais to witness this amazing movie.


As many of you know, this was Heath Ledger’s last film as he died during production and therefore unfortunately didn’t get to finish all his scenes.
What I didn’t know however was how much of said scenes had he not completed.
Turns out, he had finished almost all his scenes. The only ones missing were the “magical” ones so to speak.
The transitions between the “magical” elements of the story and the real world are therefore seamless, and if one didn’t know of the tragedy going on behind the scenes, then one might not have guessed that the change of actor wasn’t planned beforehand.
What I’m trying to convey through this complex sentence is that the end product is great.
Heath Ledger’s introduction in the movie though is…creepy, to say the least.


After that, I hang out a bit inside the Grand Palais to see the press conference for Imaginarium.
Then, it is time to see future-Palme d’Or winner, Haneke’s Das Weiße Band.


Bottom line: a very undeserving movie to win the coveted prize.
The story is about a remote village in Germany set just before the first World War. Strange events are happening involving the children.
When reading this, you kinda expect a cross between The Village and The Damned, or at least something that will keep you awake for 2 hours and 20 minutes.
Guess again.
First, virtually nothing happens in the span of 144 minutes. There’s like two deaths at the beginning of the movie, and that’s it.
Second, when I mean nothing is happening, I also mean that the dialogue could fit in 3 pages.
And last but not least, don’t expect any answers to any of the questions raised in the movie.
Yeah, Huppert definitely was the one that forced the Palme d’Or on Haneke.
Later that evening, I went back to the Grand Palais to see Elia Suleiman’s The Time That Remains.


Although clearly biased(especially in the first part), the movie had some great visuals and was fairly entertaining.
After that, the day was pretty much over.

Saturday 23:
The clock is ticking away…


Not much tangible action is happening this day, besides me seeing Gaspar Noé’s latest movie, Enter the Void.
The first 90 minutes are absolutely stunning. The visuals and the storytelling of this movie are absolutely mesmerizing, I would even dare say ground-breaking in some ways. The last part of the movie however is strange, too long, and a bit disappointing.


I then go see Isabel Coixet’s Map of the Sounds of Tokyo which, despite my sleepiness, was quite enjoyable.


I’m also enjoying the magnificent scenery while I still can.

Sunday 24:
Here it is, my last day in Cannes.
I finally get to see Audiard’s A Prophet.
The selection this year was so poor that as soon as a good movie comes, everyone starts to drool.
Nonetheless, the movie is indeed pretty good.


Meanwhile, the streets are pretty much empty.
More or less everyone is gone.
I’ve heard that around 50 000 people come each year just for the Festival.

And now, time to take the train.
Goodbye Cannes.

Overall, a great experience. I invite everyone to try doing the Festival at least once in her/his own life.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming…

How I Survived the 62nd Cannes Film Festival – Episode II

And the Cannes (true) story continues

…as well as the awesomeness.

Episode II: Attack of the Celebrities
The following takes place between Monday, May 18, and Wednesday, May 20 2009.

Monday 18:
Not much happening on that day.
Except sleep.
I miss both Ken Loach’s Looking for Eric and Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist at the Grand Palais though.

Tuesday 19:
Another early wake-up at around 6AM to go see Almodóvar’s Broken Embraces.


The Grand Palais seems at first pretty empty, but since I don’t have a ticket for the early screening, I wait as usual in the last-minute access line.
Turns out, lots of peeps with tickets were waiting until the last minute to enter the theatre, so it gets pretty full pretty quick.
Fortunately, I learn that at every 8:30AM screening, a second one occurs at the Salle du Soixantième (The Soixantième Theatre) around 9AM. Although it was gonna change for the next days, at that time not a lot of people knew about that second screening, so I successfully enter the Salle du Soixantième.


I should point out at this time that there are about 6 different “main” theatres for the Cannes festival. The first is obviously the biggest, the Grand Théâtre Lumière. After that, it’s all relatively small theatres, albeit the Debussy Theatre, which is more or less a miniature Grand Palais, followed by Buñuel Theatre. The Salle du Soixantième is a classic theatre which can old 300 or so people and in my opinion is the best after the Grand Palais if you can get a good middle seat.
As for Embraces, the movie was good, certainly one of Almodovar’s best in my opinion. Surprisingly, Penélope Cruz has a small role in it.
Speaking of, poor Penélope Cruz is sick with the flu (not that flu) so chances are she’s not going to the Broken Embraces party. We decide not to go to it.
In the afternoon, I head again to the Salle du Soixantième, waiting in line to see the controversial Antichrist.
The story is of a couple that retires to a cabin in the middle of a forest after the death of their newborn son.
A lot has been said about this movie.
One thing you cannot deny is that the movie contains very graphic images of “torture”, but let’s just say, it’s not at all like Hostel.
At. All.
At least here you can make sense why Lars von Trier chose those specific “torture” elements. Arguably some parts were deliberately put there to shock the Cannes audience (the third shot of the movie is a slow-mo penetration), and the graphic images are pretty much over-done, but still, unlike some movies, the atrocious actions have their reasons to be regarding the characters’ psyche.
Apart from that, the photography is absolutely magnificent. I especially loved the prologue and epilogue, as well as the first chapter (the movie is divided in four).
Moving on to a few hours after a lengthy discussion, I get a ticket for Marco Bellocchio’s Vincere at the Grand Palais.
When you get a ticket for a Grand Palais screening, one thing you will do is walk up the red carpet. If you time well your entrance, you might run in with some famous people (although that’s a pretty hazardous way of entering a theatre).
Anyway, I do walk up on the red carpet like I did for Bak-Jwi, and since I have nothing better to do, I take this wonderful picture on top of the stairs:


I then enter the theatre, take my place and watch the live red-carpet feed and the entrance of the Cannes jury, including Isabelle Huppert and Robin Wright Penn.


The cast and crew enters, standing ovation, and then the movie begins.
Vincere tells the story of Mussolini’s secret lover, Ida Dalser, and their son Albino. Ida is played beautifully by Giovanna Mezzogiorno (whom I was rooting for to get the best actress prize — but didn’t get since Huppert was heading the jury). Riccardo Giagni’s score is absolutely brilliant. Overall, one of the best movie in the competition. A shame it didn’t get anything.
For a better and more complete review of this great film, I suggest you head on to here.
Yet again afterwards, we rush to the buses to not miss the last one of the night.

Wednesday 20:
The day everyone has been waiting for: Inglourious Basterds day.
Similarly to Broken Embraces, I expect a second screening around 9AM at the Salle du Soixantième. I arrive at 6:40AM in front of the empty gates.


Unsurprisingly, I’m first.
And so I wait, and wait, and wait.
Until it is time for us to enter the theatre, but, oh wait!
A horde of journalists come barging in out of nowhere, having freshly arrived mere minutes before the beginning of the screening.
And they get to enter before us!
No harm done for me as the first 10 people in line also get to enter, and since I’m first…
Regarding the movie itself, expect a review in the next few days if I’m not too lazy (“Because we love making movies!”).
But suffice it to say, 2h40 is too long.
Also, Christoph Waltz so deserved the best actor award he got.
Lots of unimportant stuff happens on that day, but what you’ve been surely waiting for is the night part of the story.
By that I obviously mean the private Inglourious Basterds party.
Now, to enter, you needed to be on a special list.
We successfully enter the magnificent beach party, this thing is huge! There are like 5 places to be with the piano lounge, the dance-floor, the beach, the dock, etc.

br />I would say 200 or so (“important”) people were here, perhaps more, including (from who I saw) the Weinstein brothers, Oliver Stone, Wilem Daffoe, Charlotte Gainsbourg with Yvan Attal, etc.


Obviously the whole cast of Inglourious Basterds was here, and I mean everyone, such as Diane Kruger, Christoph Waltz, Samm Levine, BJ Novak (with whom I make small talk), and of course Brad Pitt (who left pretty early the party).


The dance floor is epic, Quentin Tarantino is completely drunk and is dancing some kind of weird tribal-like dance…with ice cubes. Go figure.
While I’m live-twiterring, I look up for a sec and who’s 5 inches from me? Joshua Jackson. I then realise he’s here because he’s with (the sublime) Diane Kruger.
Well, I’m not gonna spend 10 hours telling you every second of this epic party.
I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

End of Episode II.

On the final part of our epic Cannes story, Episode III, you will learn the truth about Thursday (spoiler alert: nothing much happened that day), Friday, where I see both Terry Gilliam and his Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, as well as Haneke’s Das Weisse Band (future Palme d’Or winner) and Suleiman’s The Time That Remains, Saturday, with Gaspar Noé’s magical Enter the Void, and my last Sunday in Cannes in which I finally got to see Audiard’s A Prophet.