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Posts tagged as “Crazy Rants”

Athletes as SNL hosts are no good

Today it was announced that Yankee’s A-Rod “turned down multiple overtures to host Saturday Night Live.”
As he puts it:

I finally figured out to make the game the priority. Ultimately I am a baseball player. This is what I do best and what I should be concentrating on.

I say that’s very good news.
However, some people seem to disagree:

What???? How could that be? Doesn’t he know that hosting “SNL” is one of the perks of being a superstar New York athlete? Turning down the chance to host “Saturday Night Live” is like telling Oprah Winfrey, “No thanks, I’d rather not be on your show.” It’s just not done!

This might be a good analogy if you were an actor/actress, or an entertainer.
We’re here talking about a professional sportsman.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I doubt many people enter pro sports to one day host SNL.
“Geez I wish I could meet Lorne Michaels… If only I had 14 gold medals. I bet that would be a good way to do it.”
Not only that, but if I were an athlete even remotely interested in this, I’d reconsider simply based on the fact that, you know, I can’t act.

Need I remind you peeps of the last time a sports guy hosted the show?


Reading from a teleprompter is not the same thing as being funny.
Even Christopher Walken knows that.

This trend has especially intensified these last couple of years with Peyton Manning, LeBron James, Michael Phelps, and, point out above, Charles Barkley (arguably one of the worst SNL host of all time).
As we already saw last September, the latest seasons’ hosts (save for a few) haven’t really been varied, or even good.
We should rejoice that an athlete turned down Saturday Night Live and save us eye-bleeds (even for the wrong reasons).

Oscar thoughts (2010)

Well, that surely was riveting (not).
Sure, The Hurt Locker probably wasn’t the best 2009 movie, but nowadays I’m happy if good work is even recognized.
So, yay.

I was pleasantly surprised by Neil Patrick Harris’ opening number.
At least they know who to call for these sorta things.

On the other hand, this didn’t really show much confidence in Alec Baldwin/Steve Martin’s duo (not even seen on stage until the fifth minute).
Twice the host, half the screentime.


The banter following their arrival felt tame at best.
It almost seemed as if they were listing a bunch of famous celebrities in hopes that fangirls all around would “squee”. Alas that wasn’t the case.
Clooney certainly didn’t seem to care about the ceremony.
The jokes themselves didn’t feel much inspired.
Case in point with James Cameron’s “micro-roast” that revolved around, you guessed it, 3-D glasses.

Did anyone else notice that, right after Steve Martin made his joke about Christoph “Jew Hunter” Waltz having hit “the motherload”, they cut to…Ethan Coen?!
Bad taste much?

I was surprisingly surprised at one win: Best Foreign Language Film.
Seemed as if Das Weisse Band was going to get it. Ended up going to El Secreto de Sus Ojos.
Yes, I’m happy about that.

Another shock came when Michael Giacchino was given the Oscar for Best Original Music.
No, I wasn’t shocked because he had won, rather because he hadn’t won before that.
Indeed, this was his first Academy Award ever.
What a shame it didn’t happen sooner. Though great speech.
Incidentally, I’m actually listening to one of the Lost soundtracks as I’m writing this.
And a note to Jennifer Lopez: it’s pronounced Ja-Key-No.

Continuing on the Lost-related talk:
If you were thinking that J.J. Abrams, or, hell, even Terry O’Quinn/Michael Emerson, were going to win an Oscar way before the guy playing Minkowski, think again.

If you’re wondering about that “Kanye West” moment, as people are calling it now, check this out.

Up winning best animated film was a disappointment.
I wish Coraline or Fantastic Mr. Fox had the award.

What’s up with Colin Farell being Jeremy Renner’s actor-buddy on stage and talking about SWAT?!
Weren’t TPTB able to get, I don’t know, any co-star from The Hurt Locker?
Seriously, who thought we would hear about that SWAT movie ever again, let alone at the Academy Awards?

Anyhow, the horror tribute was a bit weird since it included a bunch of movies I’d describe as belonging to the “fantasy” genre (Edward Scissorhands to name just one).

Speaking of, the award for the scariest moment of the evening goes to:


Who knew a comedian painted in blue was going to be a highlight.
Haven’t seen that on TV since a guy named Tobias.

Notice my total lack of thought regarding the major categories.
That’s because I don’t have any.
I’m obviously happy for Bigelow (they took their sweet time to make the historic kudos).
Big “duh” for all the other wins.
And that’s about it.

To finish us off, here’s the genius Modern Family promo they made especially for the Oscars:

I am an asshole.

I am an asshole.

Just as Yom Kippur ends, I find out someone has posted the following comment regarding my “Fringe is unoriginal” post:

If you honestly think that your stupid post will steer people away from watching Fringe, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN! Grow up, asshole!

Okay, my cover has been blown: I’m an immature asshole.

Indeed, I’m really bitter about being rejected from the Fringe writing staff so I decided to write a two-parter out of pure spite.
That’s basically the same reason why Jon Stewart decided to bash CNBC. The network had rejected him the year prior from being their new spokesperson.

I acknowledge that Sliders and the Kromaggs are pure inventions of mine that I retroactively created after seeing the Fringe Season Two premiere.
I went back in time impersonating both Tracy Tormé and David Peckinpah, and later went on to get that “parallel universe show” made, with all the while in the back of my mind this vague idea that, a decade later, I would post on some semi-obscure blog how this awkwardly-named series Fringe looks so much like a poor man’s Sliders.

So, yeah, I agree with you that I’m an asshole for showing the many ways something pretending to “revolutionize a genre” or be “original” actually is not.

Secondly, I also admit that I was angling for people to stop watching Fringe altogether after reading my post.
Not to be an egomaniac on top of being an asshole, but it’s pretty obvious everyone follows my advices.

If we take a look at what happened in the past year:
– The Middleman ended its second season with ground-breaking ratings;
– Stephen Colbert was named president both in the Marvel universe and our actual universe;
– The Jay Leno Show got taken off the air a week before it premiered;
– The MacGruber movie was never made;
– And, just recently, Flight of the Conchords and Breaking Bad won Emmys for being the best shows in their categories.

Though, for the record, I wasn’t asking anyone to stop watching Fringe. I was merely pointing out the awkward similitude the show has with another science-fiction series dating back to the mid-90s.

Mea culpa.