All my bags are packed.
I’m ready to go.
You know that World Wide Jump I’ve been kinda hinting about for the past two yers (or clearly stating)?
It’s happening right now.
Moving to the West Coast this week made me realize all that has happened in the past couple of months, especially before my official coming out to Los Angeles.
When you’re coming out, your family members will react differently.
At first no one believes you.
Once they realize it’s not a dream, some won’t be very understandable (“So you’re really…huh”), others will be more amicable (“You sir have some balls”), and a few might pull out the ‘I knew it’ card (“Ever since you were born, I knew you were gonna come out some day. This is the perfect lifestyle for you.”).
You might even hear someone scream: “OMG! Now you’re SO buying that apartment in Silver Lake!”
This is also the perfect time to have with your friends a Coming Out Fiesta (also known as Going Away Party).
You too will be able to fondly reminisce about the good ol’ times, when you spent all your waking hours in a barely-lit closet, banging out pages in front of a screen.
Be sure to quickly delete all your embarrassing pictures from Facebook before your coming out, or you’ll be acutely aware of them for years to come.
Finally, the one thing you’re bound to hear over and over again is the running-gag “Don’t forget me!”
Bonus points if your stalker adds a LOL or a smiley.
Don’t get me wrong, that’s cute and all, but I sense a vague threat in that sentence.
If you do end up becoming a millionaire, chances are that one of the people who uttered that sentence will come knocking at your door.
People also tend to be pissed for some reason when you don’t actually remember them.
Hey blondie, just because I don’t recall you from that Spanish class ten years ago doesn’t mean I pulled an Eternal Sunshine; my brain is just hard-wired to care about a maximum of 150 people (fact!).
Oh yes, coming out to Los Angeles is no easy task and an experience like no other.
It is difficult to grasp what your life will be like after it, but once you do make that leap of faith, once you make it over that obstacle…
Here we go.